33 Things That Could Only Happen In Glasgow

“Nae eating, nae smoking, nae kidding.” NSFW for various sweary reasons.

1. Glaswegians have a great sense of humour.

2. Everyone gets along here. As long as they don’t piss outside each other’s houses.

3. The public transport network is second to none.

5. There are levels of kindness here that other parts of the UK might find baffling.

6. But Glaswegians aren’t materialistic people.

7. It’s an artistic city.

8. With creative shop displays like this.

9. The nightlife is great, though the pubs are quite discerning.

Straight to the point. A Glasgow pub sign, hilarious. #onlyinGlasgow

— Claire McGroarty (@TraumaAnnie)

10. They offer a range of services.


— Bad Moon Rising (@cambyfreespirit)

11. And they enforce strict, sensible rules.

12. There is a 24-hour Greggs in Glasgow. It has a security guard. Just in case.

13. You can occasionally spot owls in the back of Volkswagens.

Not pipe band related but a man with a pet owl? Surely that's worth a RT. #random #onlyinglasgow #harrypotter #wizard

— Kilbarchan Pipe Band (@KilbarchanPB)

14. You can eat like a king.

Mulled Buckfast + Mince Pie ਴.50: only at the Arches Cafe Bar this December. #buckfast #mincepie #onlyinglasgow

— The Arches Cafe Bar (@ArchesKitchen)

15. There was that one time someone tried to hoover up puddles.

Get on this crank hoovering up puddles in glasgow city centre #onlyinglasgow #looney

— Marc O'Hara (@marc_ohara)

16. Or when someone had a wee lock-in in a phone box.

Ha! Here's a wee 'lock in' ah bet ye wish ye were invited to! #onlyinglasgow

— Iain Robertson (@Robbo_Iain)

17. And this one.

That must have been some squash buckie party #onlyinglasgow

— Sharon Montgomery (@montygirl76)

18. There was this barbecue method.

19. This shop’s problem.

#onlyinglasgow xxx

— Michelle McManus (@LadyM_McManus)

20. This map.

"@IBLOG2GLASGOW: How Glaswegians view Scotland... " I'm from t in the park #Result Mon the Weegies

— William Wallace (@Freedom1872)

21. When a chippy did £1 suppers.

22. Any night out that involves chips with cheese. A LOT of cheese.

Who wants one?? #OnlyInGlasgow

— John Dalziel (JD) (@JohnDalziel)

23. This guy.


— Daniel Watt (@Danwatt8)

24. This oujia board.

Behold! The Weegie Board! For making contact with dead weegies.

— George Anderson (@doublegonedod)

25. This taxi.

26. This cake.

27. This sign.

28. This campaign to keep a traffic cone on a statue of Wellington.

Which was successful.

29. This guy sparking up as he takes his lizard for a walk.

30. Fifty Shades of Glasgow. (Be warned, this is graphic Glaswegian sexy talk).

If that floats your boat, this is a real book.

32. This horsemeat offer from Mongolian restaurant Khublai Khans.

33. This national treasure.

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Patrick Smith is a senior reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
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