The Spider Of Your Worst Nightmares Is Just Casually Hanging Out In A Shed In Jersey

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.

1. At 0.00 on this video there is a spider’s web.

The man who posted the video, with the username angryrhyno, says it was taken in his shed on Jersey in the Channel Islands.

2. At 0.06 the person filming pokes the spider’s web with a stick. You can bet spiders don’t like this very much.

3. 0.09: “OH HELLO!”

4. 0.17: “FFS, can you stop poking me with stick? What do you WANT?”

Commenters underneath the video on YouTube are saying it’s a Segestria florentina – a spider that’s been found across the UK.

5. 0.40: Yep, that’s a massive spider, with its massive fangs.

The Natural History Museum says it has “a sharp and painful bite” that feels “like a deep injection and causes quite a shock.”

6. If you can get through the 59 seconds of this clip without shuddering or shrieking like a child, give yourself a Mars bar.

7. Hands up how many people think that this – rather than poking it and putting it on YouTube – would have been the correct response?

Buena Vista / Via buzzfeed.com

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Patrick Smith is a senior reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
 
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