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The 22 Awful Stages Of Going To A Conference

Conference season is upon us - here's all you need to know about the most boring way to spend a day.

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1. You have to wake up at a stupidly early hour because the event starts at 8.30 ON THE DOT.

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Even though half the delegates arrive late and no conference in the history of human evolution has ever started or ended on time.

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8. Then the chair opens the floor for questions and this always happens because people need to go to the toilet or get another coffee.

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Please "state your name and your organisation" if you do ask a question however. No one is sure why you have to do this, but you just do.

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15. Lunchtime! Now you have to try to eat and chat while holding a plate and cutlery and and a drink. Good luck.

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Bonus observation: What's with those metal food heaters you get at conferences? Where do they come from?

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