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17 Reasons Stag Dos Are The Absolute Worst Thing Ever

Men are awful.

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1. Stag do! Everyone loves a stag do. Except – they are an absolute nightmare to organise.

Fuse

Getting 20-odd people, some of whom you've never met, to turn up to the same place on the same day, sometimes involving foreign travel, is surprisingly difficult.

The party includes people you don't know with names like BAZZO, DAZZER and GIMPHEAD, all of whom are upstanding citizens with important, well-paid jobs but are about to act like complete cocks for 72 hours.

2. Whereas they once involved a night in a pub, stag dos now involve going to Riga, Prague or Amsterdam and cost SHITLOADS of money.

These are all places you would like to go to for an enjoyable weekend, not to do shots until you vomit into a canal at 3AM while someone sings "Don't Call Me Baby".

As soon as you hit 30 you have to go on four of them a year, minimum.

4. Then there's the tour t-shirts.

Stag do t shirts. The epitomy of my hatred. Cheers dave

Ben Chambers@benchambers87

Stag do t shirts. The epitomy of my hatred. Cheers dave

7:02 AM - 25 Jul 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Everyone has their hilarious nickname on their back. "Eggs" = top lad.

Stag-Do lads with names on shirts seen in Liverpool. "Eggs" pictured here. No good way to get that nickname is there?

Chris Whitehead@chris_whitehead

Stag-Do lads with names on shirts seen in Liverpool. "Eggs" pictured here. No good way to get that nickname is there?

10:48 PM - 08 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Or the more recent variation of getting everyone to wear "shite shirts".

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5. Then there's what the stag himself is forced to wear.

The boy @Lawrie_Wilson has had one!! #Stag @ONeilMcD @Leroyface @jake_wakelin

Garry Richards@galboy1986

The boy @Lawrie_Wilson has had one!! #Stag @ONeilMcD @Leroyface @jake_wakelin

10:08 AM - 17 May 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Like the classic – and from a Freudian perspective, quite revealing – baby outfit.

Matts stag do in Prague! Great weekend!

Could be worse though. You could be dressed as massive penis.

Cheers @LeicesterTigers lads,good start to the stag #leicester #stag #30mins #penis cheers @JordanCrane86

Dave Orton@davetigerphysio

Cheers @LeicesterTigers lads,good start to the stag #leicester #stag #30mins #penis cheers @JordanCrane86

10:59 AM - 31 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

6. And of course a stag do would be nothing without the #bants.

Amsterdam stag doo great memories!!!!

And we're talking EPIC levels of banter.

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Levels of mirth that could BREAK the bantomer.

@TheLadBible snow white and the 7 dwarves on the way to prague for a stag do

adam cooper@coops5nufc

@TheLadBible snow white and the 7 dwarves on the way to prague for a stag do

12:58 PM - 23 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

#Off #The #Scale.

@popthefizz Hijinks from prague on pie monkey's stag do! Great weather, great crack, not so great mankini!

John Pallister@GonchGardiner

@popthefizz Hijinks from prague on pie monkey's stag do! Great weather, great crack, not so great mankini!

8:09 AM - 05 Jul 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

7. There may be a set of rules that all stag party members have to follow at all times, lest they face drink-based forfeits.

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8. Bad behaviour is to be expected but someone always takes it too far.

Quick stag do update. My mate Jack was going to do a shit on my dad until my pals stopped him last night. He shit himself soon after

ƤᏝΛϟ†㲬ɨ∀ɳ@djplastician

Quick stag do update. My mate Jack was going to do a shit on my dad until my pals stopped him last night. He shit himself soon after

2:26 PM - 21 Apr 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

9. Health and safety goes out the window.

Welsh stag party's capsized narrowboat will be lifted from a canal by crane today http://t.co/w5VZn7nb1C

ITV News Wales@ITVWales

Welsh stag party's capsized narrowboat will be lifted from a canal by crane today http://t.co/w5VZn7nb1C

10:01 AM - 20 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

10. A worrying number of people end up in jail, hospital or get left in Benidorm

Stag do in benidorm went well. 8 of us went. This morning there was 1 in hospital, 1 in the jail and 2 still in benidorm with no passport

Alan Miller@A_Miller87

Stag do in benidorm went well. 8 of us went. This morning there was 1 in hospital, 1 in the jail and 2 still in benidorm with no passport 😂

4:58 PM - 05 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Friend got back from stag do 50 miles away. Started with 14. 1 went to hospital. They missed last train. 2 arrived home. 11 unaccounted for!

athinkingman@athinkingman

Friend got back from stag do 50 miles away. Started with 14. 1 went to hospital. They missed last train. 2 arrived home. 11 unaccounted for!

11:17 AM - 10 Apr 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

@Rowe1521 part3 was my ibiza stag do, 5 nights no sleep, 2 people ended up in hospital, 2 people had my name tattoo'd on them x

Matthew Wroe@mattwroe

@Rowe1521 part3 was my ibiza stag do, 5 nights no sleep, 2 people ended up in hospital, 2 people had my name tattoo'd on them x

3:21 PM - 04 Dec 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

Poor Dicko.

Successful stag do! Dicko is in hospital! #RDL

Stuart Oppery@sjoppery

Successful stag do! Dicko is in hospital! #RDL

11:13 PM - 03 May 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

11. But it's not enough to go to a city centre and get pissed, you have to take part in "activities" like paintballing or go-karting – while hungover.

STAG #PARTY SLAMMER a SUPER Stag party day of #Challenge & #FUN. 3 ACTIVITIES just ꍅpp... http://t.co/Y8di7oXxGf

Funktion Events@FunktionEvents

STAG #PARTY SLAMMER a SUPER Stag party day of #Challenge & #FUN. 3 ACTIVITIES just ꍅpp... http://t.co/Y8di7oXxGf

10:22 AM - 17 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

After being stopped in your minibus on the way back from one of your activities, the stag will be confronted by several uniformed officers who will search him and find a bag of pure, grade-A, Colombian baking powder. Once they've cuffed him up, he'll endure a horrific 5-10 minute blindfolded journey (with calming Russian rock music blaring in the car) to a maximum security police dungeon where he'll be sat on a chair and handcuffed to a post.Having most likely soiled himself and long abandoned any delusions of maintaining his dignity, it only seems right the tearful stag gets a nice surprise at the end of his ordeal. There are only two things on the face of the earth that could possibly turn that experience into anything close to resembling a positive and those are, of course, frosty beers and naked chicks.The stag will find himself surrounded by nubile, clothing-shy hotties offering him some much needed alcoholic refreshments and will have no choice but to sit tight until his 'mates' to turn up with the key and let him loose.

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