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    The Most Earth-Shattering Local Newspaper Stories Of 2014

    Killer seagulls, violent cows and racist swans. Just another mad, mad year in the life of British newspapers.

    1. There was crumpet panic on the streets of Staines.

    2. The unquestionable #firstworldproblem of 2014.

    3. When Sevenoaks wasn't ready for sushi.

    4. When this guy in Whitstable accidentally bought a full-length rubber gimp suit and turned it into a mermaid outfit.

    5. When someone had a standard night out in Stoke-on-Trent.

    6. When some swans were racist.

    7. "Angry Ian" sounds delightful.

    8. When a budgie died in Cumbria and the police got their top people on it.

    9. When someone in Portsmouth was fined for pretending to be a ghost in a graveyard.

    10. When Exeter seagulls stole someone's sandwich AND their pasty.

    11. When Steve came up with this inventive name for a leisure centre in Selby, North Yorkshire.

    12. When a couple in Norfolk said they drive around with a life-sized doll of Sir Cliff Richard.

    13. When someone sat on a cash machine in Bolton for some reason.

    14. When this dog ate some giant knickers.

    15. When someone did a protest poo in a Hull council office.

    16. When someone ended up in hospital after giving their cat a bath.

    17. When the Halesowen News used a very strange image to illustrate a story about "cockneys swamping the borough".

    18. It wasn't so much "dog bites man" in Brighton, as...

    19. People in Bridgwater were happy about a roundabout.

    20. People were LAUGHING in the face of paddling pool rules in Morpeth.

    21. This coat tragedy.

    22. And this heart-warming end to a possible coat tragedy.

    23. When this crimelord was brought to justice in Scarborough.

    24. This is like Day of the Triffids but worse.

    25. It turned out North Devon had a serious goat problem.

    26. Whitby has had enough of violent seagulls.

    27. This story from the 15th century that accidentally got printed in 2014.