Mustard. The spicy king of condiments. No sausage sandwich or steak is complete without it.
BUT WAIT! Lots of different kinds of mustards are available, but there is only one mustard to rule them all: ENGLISH.
1. It has a satisfying spiciness that DOESN'T QUITE hit you right away.
2. It can go up your nose and give you a kind of mustard brainfreeze, but that's fine.
3. Eating a little bit too much and waiting to see if it's going to clear out your sinuses is an exhilarating thing.
4. The tangy, vinegary, earthy buzz of a good dollop of English inspires people of taste to wear t-shirts like this.
5. And even if that's not hot enough for you, there are even spicier varieties to try.
6. A sausage sandwich with proper mustard may be the greatest food.
7. Look at this pork pie. Just look at it. Think of the mustard.
8. Some sad, lonely boiled eggs, elevated to a meal of champions by HOT MUSTARD.
9. You can go the extra mile and make fancy things like this with English mustard.
10. This mild yellow stuff just doesn't, well, cut the mustard.
11. There are many fancy mustard varieties. They are all pointless.
12. English is so good people take their OWN tube when visiting places that don't have it, like this correspondent to the official Wetherspoons magazine.
13. Nigella Lawson likes to keep a tube of Colman's in her handbag. This is sensible behaviour.
14. It's essential to take some when travelling abroad too.
15. People have been eating it for hundreds of years, so it must be good.
16. And it might even be good for you.
