14 Press Releases You Won't Believe Ever Got Sent

And then they ring up to check you received it.

Posted on
Stiff Records is proud to announce first week sales figures for its latest album – Johnny Borrell's 'Borrell 1' – of 594."First week sales of 594 makes 'Borrell 1' the 15,678th best selling album of the year to date," comments a Stiff spokesperson. "So far we've achieved 0.00015% sales of Adele's '21', so we feel like it's all to play for as we move into the all-important week two.""We might even break the Top 100."
We wanted to build the foundation and DNA of the new site in line with the ongoing trend and evolution of the Internet towards dynamically generated and syndicable content through technologies like RSS, atom and xml. This trend essentially abstracts the content from its presentation and distribution, atomizing content into a feed-based universe
Thankyourwank.com is a new website that has just been launched on the 11th of July 2011.We believe Thankyourwank.com is the next step in Social Media, making it a more democratic and open system than ever before! It's a masturbation revolution!Who hasn't thought to themselves "I wonder if someone out there touches themselves while thinking about me"?Thankyourwank.com enables users to vote for people they masturbate to, making them more popular Wankees at the same time as they can check their own Wank-Bank balance to see how many times other people have done it thinking about them.
Forget a diamond ring, now those looking for a romantic yet novel way of showing their affections to their loved one can with the world's first, 100% authentic, diamond embellished condom!Hand crafted by fine jewellers based here in Great Britain, this luxuriously smooth, deep black condom is adorned with an 100% authentic, 0.01carat diamond! It would seem that diamonds really are a girls' best friend, at least "for the woman who wants her man to cum into money" as the packaging assures us!
TV celebrity chef Martin Blunos has just the tonic to spice up your Valentine's Day.The popular Michelin-starred food maestro has newly-created tempting chocolate Buckfast Passion Pots with Hearty Treats.And the tasty dessert is guaranteed to set hearts aflutter as Buckfast Tonic Wine - one of the main ingredients – is regarded as an aphrodisiac in the West Indies.

It sounded a bit suspicious.

According to the Telegraph:

"The spicy chicken meal, he says, can help fight off carcinogenic cells while other traditional ingredients such as ginger, chilli, turmeric and garlic, are know for their antibacterial and antiviral properties...

"Mr Bains, a British nutritional therapist and Indian 'superfood' pioneer, said eating the curry just once-a-week could 'deal a devastating blow' to the onset of cancers and other diseases like Alzheimer's."

The press release on which this pseudo-science is based has been going around for years.