White Trash Top 10

white.trash \WITE trash\ n 1 a: any Caucasian American that exemplifies the worst of Caucasian-American culture; b: an anti-intellectual, attention-whorish, overly indulgent, highly materialistic American.

10. Tonya Harding

The gold standard. It’s all there: sex tape, suborning assault, career revival in boxing. Can you say Gillooly without thinking phallocampsis?

9. Amy Fisher

Tonya lite, the Long Island Lolita turned attempted murder charges into a career in porn.

8. Tammy Faye Baker

Televangelist, convicted felon, oompah-loopah, reality television star and owner of an air-conditioned dog house. Winner of best crying scene.

7. Kim Kardashian

Reality television, manufactured celebrity, sex taper, 72 day marriage, famously pregnant.

6. Nadya “Octomom” Suleman

Reality television, public divorce, child neglect, porn, boxing.

5. Ana Nichole Smith

Reality television star, lover of octogenarian millionaires, founder of the fried chicken playmate diet.

4. Britney Spears

Keepin’ it classy since 1981. Owner of the crotch shot you cannot un-see.

3. Lisa Nowak

The diaper astronaut will always have a special place in our heart.

2. Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson

Institutionalized child abuse. Our national shame.

1. Michael Jackson

Yeah, go ahead and say he ain’t white.