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This Is What Happened When We Asked Australians To Guess New Zealand Slang

BuzzFeed Oz staff were quizzed on Kiwi words... it didn't go well.

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Mikey: Oh I know this one! It's an esky and I ~almost~ prefer it to "esky". ALMOST.

Jenna: This is a fun term for the morgue.

Mat: Your butthole. "Ay bruh, before we go to the dairy to get sux chocolate fush I gotta dump out my chilly bin."

Hannah: Initially I thought a mean/bitchy person, as in an ice-queen. Then, I thought a fridge, which is probs more likely.

Michelle: A cold day.

Meaning: A portable ice box for drinks and food, known as an "esky" in Australia.

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Michelle: Thongs mate, they're called thongs.

Shami: A choir of vandals who sing television jingles?

Mat: Little doughnuts full of jam.

Mikey: Is it the marriage of a jaffle and a sandal. So it's like, an edible sandal?

Tania: Thongs (crazy weirdos).

Meaning: A type of sandal. Known as "thongs" in Australia.

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Anna: The actual undie, as in, "mah thong-tho-thong-tho-thong".

Mat: Underwear that goes up ya BUTTT.

Shami: Those things Americans call "flip flops."

Mikey: You wear this on your foot. I mean come on NZ you're not even trying.

Rob: A ladies undergarment. (Or a man's. It's 2015.)

Meaning: This is a skimpy type of underwear, otherwise known as a G-string.

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Mikey: Is this to do with drugs? I wouldn't know more than that because I'm a good boy.

Rob: Completely rat-shit drunk.

Anna: A sexual position.

Shami: It sounds a lot like the word "mounted" but in a Kiwi accent? So maybe it's that.

Tania: Maggot (drunk/drugged af).

Meaning: Really, really drunk.

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Jenna: I think Kiwis say this in the same way Aussies say "mate". Like, technically it's meant to mean "friend" but actually it applies to people who are acquaintances/who you don't actually even like. Like "fuck off aye bruh."

Michelle: "Bruhhhhhhhhhh" an exclamatory statement suitable for all situations.

Tania: Bro (AKA buddy o'pal or sibling o' mine).

Mat: Women wear these to provide support to their breasts.

Anna: Like, bro? or bra?

Meaning: "Bro", a common way to refer to a friend or acquaintance.

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Jenna: Buttcrack.

Rob: The space between a Kiwi's front teeth.

Shami: A surprisingly good fashion outlet for jeans and basics.

Anna: Something gooey.

Michelle: The space between two things.

Meaning: To leave. E.g. "Let's gap!"

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Mikey: Your parent's sibling's children? How do I know this? Just cuz.

Tania: Cousin and/or friend who you are tight af with.

Jenna: Short for cousin. But I think is applied to friends, too?

Michelle: Cousin?

Meaning: A way to refer to a family member, or close friend.

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Mat: Asparagus makes it smell bad.

Hannah: Penis?

Anna: Is this a typo?

Michelle: sixteenth letter of the alphabet?

Jenna: That's just a letter. Comes after N and O and before Q.

Meaning: Slang for methamphetamine, used in the same way as "ice" in Australia.

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Mat: You say this when someone punches you.

Anna: Owl without the L.

Mikey: What all New Zealanders say after an Aussie burn?

Rob: When you stub your toe.

Tania: TRUE.

Meaning: A way of referring to someone.

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Mikey: The second line to Celine Dion’s classic “My Heart Will Go On”? Near... Faaaaa... Wherever you are.

Jenna: When you want to say "fuck" but you're around your grandma. "Faaaaaaaaaaaaaa stubbed my toe."

Mat: A long, long way to run.

Rob: The sound you make when you're munted.

Michelle: No?

Meaning: An exclamation/shorter way of saying "far out".

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Jenna: OK I hear this all the time and have always wondered what it means. I think it's like "cheers"? Like, "Thanks for making me that lolly cake." "Chur, bruh."

Anna: ...burger.

Shami: A sex thing.

Rob: This is good? I think?

Michelle: Yes?

Meaning: An alternative way to say thank you.

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Mikey: What nerds get in school?

Jenna: If something is "as" it is at maximum capacity. "Beached as" = "that whale could not possibly be more beached."

Michelle: OK now these are just normal words?

Shami: Definitely a sex thing.

Rob: This is just a regular word. I use it AS often AS a Kiwi does.

Meaning: An alternative way of saying "very" or "really".

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Shami: This one I know is in fact an actual sex thing. Like "you're the skux deluxe, babe!" You know?

Jenna: Smelly socks.

Rob: A skunk that sucks.

Michelle: "AAAAWWW SKUX" I don't know what it means beyond that line everyone uses.

Hannah: Gross.

Meaning: A way of calling someone cool, but even cooler than cool. Often related to someone with #swag and popularity amongst people of the opposite gender.

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Jenna: A big penis.

Mat: Huge penis?!??!

Shami: A hungry fungus.

Mikey: When there is a group of people who have all drank far too much alcohol and the morning after one person will say, "Hungus". It means everyone in the vicinity is hungover.

Tania: Well hung.

Meaning: Very hungry.

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Michelle: Is there not just one meaning to mean?

Jenna: Psst, Kiwis, this is a real word.

Mat: Like being rude to someone because you're an asshole??

Rob: Average.

Mikey: What does this mean?

Meaning: A way of referring to something as "cool" or "awesome", has positive connotations.

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Mat: How I'd describe my personality lmao nailed it.

Rob: "Yes, I'm OK with the thing you just said."

Michelle: That something is sweet as, like "mmmmm that cake is sweet as".

Jenna: As good as it can be.

Tania: Heaps good.

Meaning: Another way of saying good/great/fine/yes.

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Mikey: I can't Handel this one.

Jenna: The Bachelor.

Anna: The composer.

Mat: When you forget your wallet at home you have to go bach to get it.

Michelle: What you call a bachelor?

Meaning: A beach house.

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Rob: A type of cow or that guy I went to school with.

Mikey: A nice New Zealand gentleman.

Jenna: Meat.

Mat: ...and Julia Stone.

Anna: The beef.

Meaning: Very angry.

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Mat: Like making out. Do you wanna tu meke with me? Shirts optional.

Rob: Tu meke. Me meke. We all meke.

Mikey: When you start a letter to your friend "meke" you say "Tu Meke".

Anna: Like when Aussies say onya?

Michelle: A type of food?

Meaning: A Maori phrase, used by Kiwi's instead of saying "too much".

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Anna: Police siren.

Rob: I hope it's rhyming slang for cops.

Mat: Fucking far away.

Michelle: An idiot?

Tania: Fuck that.

Meaning: The middle of nowhere/far away.

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Rob: Good Christchurch (That's Wellington).

Tania: Girl Crew.

Jenna: I want to say Gold Coast but that's in Australia. Are Kiwis particularly fond of the Gold Coast?

Anna: Gift certificate.

Michelle: Gold Coast? Why are there so many acronyms?

Meaning: Good cunt.

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Jenna: That bit of crap on a sheep's bum.

Mikey: A silly person.

Shami: Gross and sloppy.

Rob: You're a dag. I'm not.

Anna: Yuck.


Meaning: A comedian/joker.

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Tania: Young gay boy.

Mikey: New Zealanders can't spell Twinkle.

Jenna: You're not fooling me.

Shami: When twins wink at each other at the exact same time.

Rob: A slim, hairless young gay man.

Meaning: Correction fluid/white out.

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Jenna: Old guy.

Anna: A giraffe?

Mikey: Gazza's brother.

Mat: What you call pizza when you have a mouthful of pizza.

Tania: Hoe.

Meaning: "Give us a", another way of asking for/requesting something.

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Mikey: A sheep and a New Zealander? (Kidding I know that Australia has more sheep per capita than NZ jokes are funny).

Jenna: One True Pairing. GUYS THAT'S NOT KIWI STOP TRYING TO CLAIM EVERYTHING AS KIWI.

Tania: Over the Paparore.

Anna: Eh?

Shami: Out to party.

Meaning: On the piss.

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Mikey: An STD?

Michelle: Like Contiki but less fun.

Jenna: Oh is this short for Contiki Tour aka a rite of passage where you spend thousands of dollars to not remember your trip to Europe coz you're so pissed?

Rob: A holiday young people go on in Europe where they get munted and catch a venereal disease.

Shami: Contiki Tour. Ew.

Meaning: A drive around to just have a look, with no real point or destination.

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Jenna: When you're aroused but sad at the same time. A sad erection.

Michelle: Taking all your sads, and putting them in a bag and taking that bag to sad-town.

Mat: It's like an inappropriate boner - like you're visiting your accountant and it's NOT THE TIME but oop! There it is, you packed a sad and just have to sit there.

Hannah: Fuck off.

Mikey: What happens when you have to play New Zealand in the rugby world cup final.

Meaning: Getting upset/stroppy.

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Mikey: Oh this one is easy. It's urination again.

Anna: FUCK OFF!

Rob: Easy as bruh.

Hannah: Piece of shit.

Michelle: Easy as shit.

Meaning: Easy to do.

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