We Asked Cisgender Men How They've Personally Benefited From Abortion. Here Are The Five Stories We Received
"I was able to go to college, go to law school, have a career, marry the woman of my dreams, and have an amazing baby."
...and reflecting on how they've personally benefited from their abortions, whether it be physically, mentally, professionally, or all of the above.
Cisgender women, trans men, and nonbinary people seem to contribute an overwhelming majority of these online discussions. Yet many cisgender men have been involved in and personally benefited from abortions. Where are their stories?
1. "Had she not gotten the abortion, she would have died and I wouldn’t have been born."
Before I was born, my mom had an ectopic pregnancy — that's when the fertilized egg grows outside the uterus. Three months into the pregnancy, her fallopian tube ruptured. She wanted another child so badly, but the doctors said she needed to have an abortion or else she would die. My mom decided the right thing to do was to have an abortion so that she could live and raise my older brother.
Two years later, I was born. Had she not gotten the abortion, she would have died and I wouldn’t have been born. Even though her abortion was done for life-saving purposes, she still believes that everyone should have that choice, no questions asked.
2. "Since the abortion, we've turned our lives around and gotten our shit together, separately."
Not really seeing many stories from men on here, so I guess I’ll go ahead and share mine. My girlfriend and I were 19 and 20 respectively, we had both just dropped out of college, and we were working shit jobs in a shit town. After learning she was pregnant and a very brief discussion (we were pretty much already on the same page), she went in for the abortion and that was that. We could barely afford to keep ourselves alive, so we couldn’t imagine trying to care for someone else.
Since the abortion, we've turned our lives around and gotten our shit together, separately. We're both in great places in our lives, with great careers in new places. It would have been pretty impossible to do without her option to have an abortion.
3. "I think if she hadn't gotten the abortion, she'd be dead by now and I wouldn't have been born."
My mother was in an extremely abusive relationship. The details she told me (and the ones I've inferred) are horrifying. She was 15 years old, living in a small town, and he essentially groomed her and shamed her into staying with him. When she became pregnant, it was a wake-up call. She knew he would always have a way into her life and she knew he was capable of hurting or even killing a baby.
There wasn't much help available for abused women back in the early '80s, and she didn't have any family capable of helping or scaring the guy off. So she got an abortion and left soon after. I think if she hadn't gotten the abortion, she'd be dead by now and I wouldn't have been born. Now she's living her best life, and it makes me feel content every day knowing that she gets the happiness and love she deserves.
4. "I was able to go to college, go to law school, have a career."
I’m not 39 years old with a 24-year-old child. I was able to go to college, go to law school, have a career, marry the woman of my dreams, and have an amazing baby when I was mentally, emotionally, and financially ready to support him.
5. "By being allowed to choose abortion, he was able to keep his wife alive and eventually have a baby boy."
I speak for a lifelong friend who passed away in a motorcycle accident last year. He and his wife had one child, but always wanted two. Not long after her second pregnancy was discovered, they also found out she had breast cancer. It was a fast-progressing cancer, so she needed chemotherapy immediately, but would have to have an abortion to do so. She couldn't wait until after the birth.
They decided it would be cruel to leave their little girl motherless in a likely vain attempt to carry to term, so she underwent the procedure, did chemotherapy, and she was declared cancer-free two long years later. They went on to have a second child after their one-year cancer-free anniversary. Because they were able to choose abortion, he was able to keep his wife alive and eventually have a baby boy. Their kids were 7 and 3 when he passed away. If not for abortion, they would be orphans right now.
Some responses have been edited for clarity and length.