1. The Smile Police Guy

2. The Objectifier Guy

3. The Jokester Guy

4. The Auto Asshole Guy

5. The Mating Call Guy

6. The Jekyll-Hyde Guy

7. The Handsy Guy

8. The Stalker Guy

9. The Violent Guy

"You're pretty, but you'd be prettier if you smiled!"
BuzzFeed Staff
Social Web Artist
What's his deal: Doesn't see anything wrong with telling you — a whole entire grown-ass woman—to fix your face, especially if he thinks you're hot.
Favorite lines:
"Why are you so mad? Smile, beautiful!"
"You're pretty, but you'd be prettier if you smiled!"
"It’s gonna be a good day! Smile, little lady."
What's his deal: Thinks you're a walking pair of tits and ass that comes in assorted flavors: caramel, dark chocolate, white chocolate, etc. Will eye fuck the shit outta you. Is missing that filter that stops people from saying whatever the fuck's on their mind. Would legit kill another guy if they said those things to his mother/sister/daughter.
Favorite lines:
"Hello, sexy."
"Look at that [enter body part here]!!!"
"DAYUM!!!"
"God bless you."
What's his deal: Never grew out of the "annoying you means I like you" phase. Cracks the corniest jokes, usually about sharing your ice cream cone with him or getting married.
Favorite lines:
"I'll massage your feet cuz you been running through my mind all day."
"Will you marry me?"
"Can't we just be friends?"
"Aww! You're not gonna share?"
What's his deal: He's all about the drive-by cat call, but makes the most of every red light, too. Often comes in groups of two or more. Sometimes follows you with his car/van/truck.
Favorite lines:
"HONK HOOOOOOOONK!"
"Need a ride?"
"You're too pretty to be walking."
What's his deal: This guy wants your attention, but not enough to form actual words. Upside: He's least likely to talk to you or even approach you. Downside: that kissey noise you make to cats and dogs is the same noise he's making at you.
Favorite lines:
"WhOo!"
"PsSt psSt!"
"WheEeEeET WhEwWwwW!"
"MWAH!"
What's his deal: First he's sweet, then he's sour AF. Wants you to thank him when he tells you you're beautiful, but decides you're actually hideous if you ignore him. Prepare for a nasty verbal tantrum as he licks his wounds.
Favorite lines:
"Someone just told you that you look good. You should say thank you."
"You think you're better than me?"
"You ain't even all that."
"You're ugly anyways."
What's his deal: Love your personal space? Well, so does this guy. He goes the extra pervy mile by grabbing your attention, and by attention I mean your wrist, your arm, your shoulder, your ass...
Favorite lines: (He's more of a toucher than a talker.)
What's his deal: He follows you down the street, across the street, maybe even into your building lobby. ~Technically~ he doesn't say anything really, but his creepy silence scares you more than any shout or whistle ever will.
Favorite lines: "..."
What's his deal: He knocks you off your bike after you tell him to fuck off. He punches and kicks you when he doesn't get your number. And he fatally shoots you because you dared to turn him down.
Favorite lines:
"Who the fuck you think you are?"
"You're asking for it."
"Fuck you, bitch!"