We asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their funniest, most embarrassing hair + sex horror stories. Here are the wild results.
1. This person whose ponytail wanted in on the action too.
"My boyfriend and I were getting busy doggy-style when he started pulling on my very, very long ponytail. Well he was pulling it so hard that he ended up pushing the end of my ponytail inside of me with his penis. He stopped pulling so hard after that, but once we were finished he ended up pulling an entire strand of hair out of my vagina! Super gross."
2. This person who now shaves EVERYWHERE.
"One time my husband’s tongue ring got caught in my asshole hair. I shave everything now."
—Anonymous
3. This person whose sexy time got way too lit...
"My college boyfriend and I had decided to stay in a hotel for a romantic evening. We were cuddled up in the bathtub, surrounded by candles. But the mood was ruined pretty quickly after MY HAIR CAUGHT ON FIRE! If you’ve never smelled burnt hair, consider yourself lucky. Both the stench and my charred ends put a damper on things, but as two horny college kids, it didn’t stop us for long!"
4. ...as did this person's.
"Me and my then boyfriend had lit some candles to set the mood. But then while he was on top, his long beautiful hair got near one of the flames and started to burn! It wasn't as bad as it might sound — he wasn't hurt and only lost only a small strand of hair. But the mood was ruined."
5. This person who took oral to a whole new level.
"I was on top and my hair was dangling in his face. He took a deep breath and inhaled my hair. He almost threw up as I pulled it out of this throat! Oops."
6. And this person who performed an accidental Brazilian.
"I was a high schooler about to have sex for the first time. After going down on the guy a few times, some of his pubes got stuck in my braces and I ripped them out! Needless to say, it took a long time for him to get going again."
7. This person who had to call her roommate to "free" her.
"It was my freshman year and I was in the dorms hooking up with a guy on the bottom of a bunk bed. Things were getting hot and heavy, so I put my hair up in a messy bun. At one point, we switched positions, so that I was on top. That's when my bun got tangled in the springs underneath the top bunk! We ended up having to call my roommate to come back to the room and help detangle my hair and free me."
8. This person who had an infestation.
"One day my pubic hair started itching really badly. Fearing that I had crabs, I went to the doctor who told me I had lice down there. Later on, my girlfriend told me she had head lice! We figured out that I got it from her giving me a laying-down blowjob."
9. This person who probably broke someone's nose.
"Sometimes I’ll move my hair out of my face by flipping my head back or to the side. That being said, one time my husband and I were getting it on and he was behind me. Out of habit, I flipped my hair back and ended up slamming my head directly into his nose. Trust me when I say it was an instant mood killer."
10. And this person who had a #blackgirlhairstruggle.
"This story might sound familiar to my fellow black girls. So while I was making out with someone, we started laughing. But at the same time, I quickly turned around, which sent my braids flying into his mouth. That's when I felt a sharpish pain at the back of my head. I turned back around and — BAM! — I see one of my braids on the floor!"
11. This person whose Moulin Rouge moment didn't turn out so hot.
"I thought it would be fun to surprise my husband by wearing one of those corsets that have tons of small hooks one the back. So I walked in front of him wearing the corset and some lace panties and started performing a striptease. That's when my long curly hair got all tangled up in the hooks. I couldn't move! So Instead of having hot sex, my husband and I instead spent the entire night carefully removing my hair from the hooks."
12. This person who probably won't be using honey anytime soon.
"Thinking honey would be a budget-friendly option for food play, we put some on my back. That's when we discovered that honey is actually VERY difficult to lick off completely. All of my waist-length hair got stuck down there!"
13. This person who had some extra "product" in her hair.
"One day during my senior year of high school, I went to my boyfriend's house to screw around. Later that night, I sang the national anthem for my school's National Honor Society induction...with jizz still in my hair."
14. And this person who should've just braided it up.
"My husband and I had some really rough sex when we first started dating. One time, it got so crazy that all my midback-length hair knotted up into a huge horrible rat's nest. It took hours to get out!"
