16 Truly Ridiculous 1980s TV Show Openings You Must Watch RIGHT NOW

Now that you've had your fill of Too Many Cooks (harhar), take a look at the 16 cheesiest, weirdest, tubular-est TV show openings to come out of the Reagan Era. WARNING: Watching these videos may make you look like a retro fashion disaster and sound like a Valley Girl.

1. Punky Brewster (1984 - 1988) (Season 2)

Via youtube.com

Check out the garish font. Yuck! And those overly optimistic lyrics ("Everytime I turn around, Her spirit's lifting me right off the ground") make me want to puke rainbows.

2. Full House (1987 - 1995) (Season 1)

Via youtube.com

Listen to that drum machine; it would make Phil Collins envious. And dat goofy bass guitar. And crappy green screen. Wait, is that guy riding a bicycle with a baby?

3. Silver Spoons (1982 - 1987) (Season 1)

Via youtube.com

Awkward fake smiles + saccharine wholesomeness + Freeze Frames = Awesome. Towards the end, the singer sounds like he's trying to hit that "Take on Me" high note.

4. Charles in Charge (1984 - 1990) (Season 2)

Via youtube.com

Looks like someone vomited vintage pastel colors everywhere. What disturbs me, though, are the lyrics: "New boy in the neighborhood/Lives down stairs and it's understood/He's there just to take good care of me/Like he's one of the family." Taken out of context, it sounds really sketchy.

5. Small Wonder (1985 - 1989) (Season 1)

Via youtube.com

Okay, the music sounds like something out of a cloyingly-wholesome 1950s sitcom. But it's still unnerving to have the opening introduce us to a character via a leering shot at her exposed...wires.

6. The Renegades (1983)

Via youtube.com

Sharp guitar riffs. Thumping synths. Freeze frames. And four, count 'em, four token characters (a woman, a Black guy, a Latino, and an Asian guy called...Dragon. Wow). Hey, it's Patrick Swazye! R.I.P.

7. Manimal (1983)

Via youtube.com

Those are some AWFUL morphing effects. Ugh.

8. Misfits of Science (1985 - 1986) (Season 1)

Via youtube.com

The singer sounds like a less raspy version of Bonnie Tyler (her "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is the 1980s ballad to end all 1980s ballads). So, there's that. Also: laughable special effects.

9. Street Hawks (1985)

Via youtube.com

Sick, sick, sick synthesizer. And...a lot of weird smiling towards the camera considering this is an action series.

10. Miami Vice (1984 - 1990)

Via youtube.com

This opening is just dripping with neon colors, palm trees, glamor, and synth-rock. Oh yeah. Sloooo-moootion...lacrosse? That's extreme, I guess. And sleazy shots of b-b-b-beach babes!

11. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (1985 - 1986) (Season 1)

Via youtube.com

"G.I. Joe" in a nutshell: America is totally the best and super duper awesome. Ronald Reagan probably loved this stuff.

12. Transformers (Generation 1, 1984 - 1987) (Season 2)

Via youtube.com

Welcome to Transformers B.B. (Before Bay). The robotic voice pushes this song over the edge and down into 80s cheesy awesomeness.

13. SilverHawks (1986)

Via youtube.com

Hawk noises...IN SPACE. Guitar shredding...IN SPACE. People flying around in metal bird suits without propulsion...IN SPACE. Wait, how can you do that?

14. M.A.S.K. (1985)

Via youtube.com

That "Tron"-looking grid is cool, but what's up with so many of these TV opening theme singers sounding like Steve Perry clones?

15. Ulysses 31 (1981) (American Dub)

Via youtube.com

Show Creator: "Its a futuristic twist on classical Greek mythology, in which I explore the conflict between humans and--"

Song Writer: "Greek dude IN SPACE? Got it!" *scribbles* "Ulysseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THE THINGS YA DOOOO!"

16. Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors (1985)

Via youtube.com

This song wins this list. "There's a power that comes from deep inside of yooooou!" Fun fact: If you listen to this while exercising, you'll have your own training montage.