back to top

Men Rank Every NFL Quarterback By Hotness

"He looks like he just sharted."

Posted on
Thinkstock / Candace Lowry for BuzzFeed

We're coming up on that time of year: FOOTBALL SEASON. So why not rank all the football QB's from "Hot" to "Not"? We had six very, very wise men sit down and painstakingly rank these hunks. Here are the results:

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com / Via youtu.be

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com / Via youtu.be

The guys were instructed to rate their hotness on a scale from 1 to 5, and SHOULD HAVE tried their best to keep all their personal feelings aside.

Thinkstock / Candace Lowry for BuzzFeed

32. Ben Roethlisberger: 1.5/5

Even though he received a strong 4 from Curly, he was given a hefty -100 from Andrew. (We're sensing some bad blood in that department.)
Justin K. Aller / Getty Images

Even though he received a strong 4 from Curly, he was given a hefty -100 from Andrew. (We're sensing some bad blood in that department.)

31. Ryan Mallett: 1.83/5

Once again, Curly was a supporter, but Zach slid in with a 1 and a "He went to Arkansas... He looks like he's from Arkansas" comment.
Bob Levey / Getty Images

Once again, Curly was a supporter, but Zach slid in with a 1 and a "He went to Arkansas... He looks like he's from Arkansas" comment.

30. Matt Ryan: 2/5

Ohhh, and there was a harsh "nah" from the Curly crew, as well as a 1 from Moses "for being creepy."
Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images

Ohhh, and there was a harsh "nah" from the Curly crew, as well as a 1 from Moses "for being creepy."

29. Joe Flacco: 2.17/5

Curly was all about giving that 4, but suggested a full-time beard. Zach, Moses, and Zack all dropped some harsh 1's on him.
Jared Wickerham / Getty Images

Curly was all about giving that 4, but suggested a full-time beard. Zach, Moses, and Zack all dropped some harsh 1's on him.

28. Jameis Winston: 2.33/5

Winston wasn't a terrific touchdown or a fatal fumble either, just a little "meh."
Hannah Foslien / Getty Images

Winston wasn't a terrific touchdown or a fatal fumble either, just a little "meh."

27. Teddy Bridgewater: 2.33/5

Zach felt a little creepy, commenting, "He looks like he's 14."
Joe Robbins / Getty Images

Zach felt a little creepy, commenting, "He looks like he's 14."

26. Chase Daniel: 2.33/5

Curly was calling for a beard, while Moses was taken aback by the fact that "he looked like he just sharted" in his picture.
Christian Petersen / Getty Images

Curly was calling for a beard, while Moses was taken aback by the fact that "he looked like he just sharted" in his picture.

25. Ryan Lindley: 2.33/5

Curly was screaming in his chair, "YES MA'AM!!!" Everyone else was unamused, especially Ned, who threw in the towel with a 1.
Christian Petersen / Getty Images

Curly was screaming in his chair, "YES MA'AM!!!" Everyone else was unamused, especially Ned, who threw in the towel with a 1.

Thinkstock / Candace Lowry for BuzzFeed

24. Robert Griffin III: 2.5/5

This really is a shocker (stay out of it, Candace). RG III was given a blasé compilation of 2's and 3's.
Getty Images

This really is a shocker (stay out of it, Candace). RG III was given a blasé compilation of 2's and 3's.

23. Zach Mettenberger: 2.5/5

One look into Mettenberger's icy blue eyes, and Curly was in love. Once again, everyone else threw him out at a 2.
Jeff Zelevansky / Getty Images

One look into Mettenberger's icy blue eyes, and Curly was in love. Once again, everyone else threw him out at a 2.

22. Derek Carr: 2.5/5

Moses couldn't get past the fact that "he looks like he listens to Korn," while Zach saw a "massive forehead." Zero chill.
Harry How / Getty Images

Moses couldn't get past the fact that "he looks like he listens to Korn," while Zach saw a "massive forehead." Zero chill.

21. Geno Smith: 2.5/5

He was just a little "nope."
Jared Wickerham / Getty Images

He was just a little "nope."

20. Johnny Manziel: 2.5/5

Nbc / NBC / NBCU Photo Bank
BuzzFeed Video

Moses gave him a 4 only "because he knows Drake," and Zach threw in some shade, saying, he "won't be playing after eight games." Ned was just OVER IT.

19. Peyton Manning: 2.67/5

Robert Beck / Getty Images
BuzzFeed Video

Ned clearly expressed his loyalty to Peyton, but Zach WAS NOT HAVING IT. Moses was turned off, "because Papa John's is meh." You heard it here, folks.

18. Andy Dalton: 2.83/5

The guys couldn't help but notice this redhead's ON FLEEK brows. Moses wasn't afraid to say, "Those eyebrows doe." And look at that fiery matching uniform.
Joe Robbins / Getty Images

The guys couldn't help but notice this redhead's ON FLEEK brows. Moses wasn't afraid to say, "Those eyebrows doe." And look at that fiery matching uniform.

17. Jay Cutler: 2.83/5

Jb Lacroix / WireImage
BuzzFeed Video

People were really turned off and overall not into it, saying, "He looks like and is a douche." However, Moses thought he was a "solid-looking dude."

Thinkstock / Candace Lowry for BuzzFeed

16. Colin Kaepernick: 3/5

Jed Jacobsohn / Getty Images
BuzzFeed Video

We found Curly's lover. He said, "I love you. I honestly love you," but Moses DROPPED SOME SERIOUS SHADE, saying, "He has a nose like a muppet."

15. Drew Brees: 3/5

The guys were into it, and really into that sexy scar.
Sean Gardner / Getty Images

The guys were into it, and really into that sexy scar.

14. Andrew Luck: 3/5

David Bergman / Getty Images
BuzzFeed Video

Andrew thought he was just born in the wrong time period. With a little bit of luck, he slid into the middle of the pack. Zach made sure to be clear: He wasn't into him "because of his looks, but because he's a smart guy."

13. Matt Stafford: 3/5

Getty Images
Buzzfeed Video

The guys' opinions were a little mixed. Some saw him as a "fragile, easily injured" dude, while others thought he was "a little creepy." BUT SOME saw him as "a polite Southern boy!"

12. Tony Romo: 3/5

Fort Worth Star-telegram / Getty Images
BuzzFeed Video

Clearly, some of these guys were not into Tony Romo...

11. Austin Davis: 3.17/5

I mean, come on, how could you not like that face?
Evan Habeeb / Getty Images

I mean, come on, how could you not like that face?

10. Philip Rivers: 3.17/5

A couple of the guys were slayed by "that Southern accent though."
Ezra Shaw / Getty Images

A couple of the guys were slayed by "that Southern accent though."

9. Mark Sanchez: 3.17/5

D Dipasupil / FilmMagic

After the guys decided that he looked more "fresh out of the shower" than "never been in a shower," he went up in the ranks. But in a surprising twist, Curly wasn't into it.

8. Eli Manning: 3.5/5

Nbc / Getty Images
BuzzFeed Video

Looks like this brother ended up on top. Is it the brown hair? The boyish look? You decide. Zach folded and said, "[Being a] two-time Super Bowl champ and two-time Super Bowl MVP...yeah, he's hot AF."

Thinkstock / Candace Lowry for BuzzFeed

7. Tom Brady: 3.6/5

Getty Images
Buzzfeed Video

He clearly struck a chord with some of the dudes (aka Ned) for cheating, but Zack knew that beauty can sometimes be the only path to a touchdown.

6. Ryan Tannehill: 3.67/5

Curly was SO CLOSE to giving Tannehill a 5, but questioned the use of a V-neck. Ned was really not feeling his look, giving him a 2.
Alex Goodlett / Getty Images

Curly was SO CLOSE to giving Tannehill a 5, but questioned the use of a V-neck. Ned was really not feeling his look, giving him a 2.

5. EJ Manuel: 3.67/5

Is it the beautiful beads of sweat, or the tattoos adorning his arms? These dudes say both.
Vaughn Ridley / Getty Images

Is it the beautiful beads of sweat, or the tattoos adorning his arms? These dudes say both.

4. Blake Bortles: 4/5

The guys were DTF, but Moses said, "His face confuses me a lot."
Joe Robbins / Getty Images

The guys were DTF, but Moses said, "His face confuses me a lot."

3. Russell Wilson: 4.17/5

Mat Hayward / Getty Images
BuzzFeed Video

The guys had nothing but positive feedback calling him "handsome," "classy," and a "great guy." Too bad Moses couldn't hop on that train.

2. Cam Newton: 4.33/5

Jerod Harris / WireImage
BuzzFeed Video

He has the complete package: the dimples, neck, jawline, everything.

Thinkstock / Candace Lowry for BuzzFeed

1. Aaron Rodgers: 4.5/5

Getty Images
BuzzFeed Video

AND THE TOUCHDOWN OF HOTNESS GOES TO the most "funny," "adorable," and "all-American hunk." CONGRATS, AARON! COME PICK UP YOUR BUZZFEED HOT AF AWARD.*

*There is no real trophy.

So world, do you agree with these guys?

The best things at three price points