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    34 Deliciously Ridiculous Rick Perry Quotes

    Sometimes these things just write themselves.

    Parentwin
    by Parentwin

    Community Contributor

    1.

    But...what if I don't wanna?

    2.

    Picture from doblelol

    3.

    Move On / Via moveon.org

    4.

    Cognitive Dissidence / Via cognitivedissidence.blogspot.com

    I feel like someone needs to consult the bees on this.

    5.

    Via Photo from middleeast.about.com

    Um, wrong century. By two.

    6.

    Via Photo from Salon

    I love it when poetry enters my politics.

    7.

    Photo from malialitman.wordpress.com

    Great! I'll take my freedom with a little less PATRIOT ACT, thanks!

    8.

    Photo from Mother Jones

    Interestingly, I don't think you have a role in my Federal Government...

    9.

    Photo from kootation

    Um, yes it does.

    10.

    Photo from al.com

    I feel like President Obama wouldn't be the only one thinking that's simpleminded...

    11.

    Photo from Huffington Post

    He neglects to mention that while Texas is creating all these jobs, they also have the highest unemployment rate in the nation. And even ignoring that, I'd still take a state where guys can marry guys.

    12.

    Photo from The Right Side of Austin

    Yeah, because where's the sport in that?

    13.

    Photo from New Republic

    Yeah. I'm going to need some citation on that. And if you mention number of deaths in car accidents or number of violent crime deaths in Britain, you automatically lose the debate, just so you know.

    14.

    Mother Jones / Via motherjones.com

    Dear God.

    15.

    Photo from Bossip

    16.

    Photo from New York Magazine

    Totally. All those moments before 2008 don't even count.

    17.

    Photo from KUT News

    Where's the line for California?

    18.

    Photo from Politico

    Your stance on the death penalty refutes that.

    19.

    Photo from Mother Jones

    Unless it lives outside the womb, and needs some help getting off its feet.

    20.

    Move On / Via moveon.org

    LOOOOOOOOOL

    21.

    Photo from Sparrow Chat

    Huh, I feel totally differently. But that might be my vagina talking.

    22.

    Photo from Addicting Info

    Tell that to the 500 people you executed.

    23.

    Photo from The Huffington Post

    Hmm, someone needs to look up the word "democracy" in the dictionary again.

    24.

    Stupid Pumas / Via stupidpumas.com

    But that's in Mexico.

    25.

    The Daily Irritant / Via thedailyirritant.blogspot.com

    Yeah...no, it's not. Not ever, really.

    26.

    Via Photo from WPRI

    Wow, you speak for all the people of Texas? Because I know some folks who might want a word with you.

    27.

    The Last of the Milleniums / Via thelastofthemilleniums.wordpress.com

    Oops. (Psst, it was Energy.)

    28.

    Photo from Politic USA

    Yes, this plus abstinence-only sex education is a recipe for success.

    29.

    Photo from Huffington Post

    Death threats on the campaign trail are always so rad.

    30.

    Photo from Politico

    Gay people: hurting the nation, one happy union at a time. Also, what is he on about, truth known to each one of us? I missed that memo.

    31.

    Photo from David J. Phillip / AP

    The voting age has been 18 since 1971. Also, the election was on November 6th. Thumbs up.

    32.

    Photo from Politico

    How about legislators turning back the clock then making shady deals about it in the aftermath? Anything on the books about that?

    33.

    Photo from City of Macon

    He sure did.

    34.

    Photo from Michael Conroy / AP

    And I think I've filled my BINGO card. Sorry, Sen. Davis. What in the actual hell.

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