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34 Deliciously Ridiculous Rick Perry Quotes

Sometimes these things just write themselves.

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1.

But...what if I don't wanna?

But...what if I don't wanna?

2.

Picture from doblelol

3.

Move On / Via moveon.org

4.

I feel like someone needs to consult the bees on this.
Cognitive Dissidence / Via cognitivedissidence.blogspot.com

I feel like someone needs to consult the bees on this.

5.

Um, wrong century. By two.
Via Photo from middleeast.about.com

Um, wrong century. By two.

6.

I love it when poetry enters my politics.
Via Photo from Salon

I love it when poetry enters my politics.

7.

Great! I'll take my freedom with a little less PATRIOT ACT, thanks!
Photo from malialitman.wordpress.com

Great! I'll take my freedom with a little less PATRIOT ACT, thanks!

8.

Interestingly, I don't think you have a role in my Federal Government...
Photo from Mother Jones

Interestingly, I don't think you have a role in my Federal Government...

9.

Um, yes it does.
Photo from kootation

Um, yes it does.

10.

I feel like President Obama wouldn't be the only one thinking that's simpleminded...
Photo from al.com

I feel like President Obama wouldn't be the only one thinking that's simpleminded...

11.

He neglects to mention that while Texas is creating all these jobs, they also have the highest unemployment rate in the nation. And even ignoring that, I'd still take a state where guys can marry guys.
Photo from Huffington Post

He neglects to mention that while Texas is creating all these jobs, they also have the highest unemployment rate in the nation. And even ignoring that, I'd still take a state where guys can marry guys.

12.

Yeah, because where's the sport in that?
Photo from The Right Side of Austin

Yeah, because where's the sport in that?

13.

Yeah. I'm going to need some citation on that. And if you mention number of deaths in car accidents or number of violent crime deaths in Britain, you automatically lose the debate, just so you know.
Photo from New Republic

Yeah. I'm going to need some citation on that. And if you mention number of deaths in car accidents or number of violent crime deaths in Britain, you automatically lose the debate, just so you know.

14.

Dear God.
Mother Jones / Via motherjones.com

Dear God.

15.

Photo from Bossip

16.

Totally. All those moments before 2008 don't even count.
Photo from New York Magazine

Totally. All those moments before 2008 don't even count.

17.

Where's the line for California?
Photo from KUT News

Where's the line for California?

18.

Your stance on the death penalty refutes that.
Photo from Politico

Your stance on the death penalty refutes that.

19.

Unless it lives outside the womb, and needs some help getting off its feet.
Photo from Mother Jones

Unless it lives outside the womb, and needs some help getting off its feet.

20.

LOOOOOOOOOL
Move On / Via moveon.org

LOOOOOOOOOL

21.

Huh, I feel totally differently. But that might be my vagina talking.
Photo from Sparrow Chat

Huh, I feel totally differently. But that might be my vagina talking.

22.

Tell that to the 500 people you executed.
Photo from Addicting Info

Tell that to the 500 people you executed.

23.

Hmm, someone needs to look up the word "democracy" in the dictionary again.
Photo from The Huffington Post

Hmm, someone needs to look up the word "democracy" in the dictionary again.

24.

But that's in Mexico.
Stupid Pumas / Via stupidpumas.com

But that's in Mexico.

25.

Yeah...no, it's not. Not ever, really.
The Daily Irritant / Via thedailyirritant.blogspot.com

Yeah...no, it's not. Not ever, really.

26.

Wow, you speak for all the people of Texas? Because I know some folks who might want a word with you.
Via Photo from WPRI

Wow, you speak for all the people of Texas? Because I know some folks who might want a word with you.

27.

Oops. (Psst, it was Energy.)
The Last of the Milleniums / Via thelastofthemilleniums.wordpress.com

Oops. (Psst, it was Energy.)

28.

Yes, this plus abstinence-only sex education is a recipe for success.
Photo from Politic USA

Yes, this plus abstinence-only sex education is a recipe for success.

29.

Death threats on the campaign trail are always so rad.
Photo from Huffington Post

Death threats on the campaign trail are always so rad.

30.

Gay people: hurting the nation, one happy union at a time. Also, what is he on about, truth known to each one of us? I missed that memo.
Photo from Politico

Gay people: hurting the nation, one happy union at a time. Also, what is he on about, truth known to each one of us? I missed that memo.

31.

The voting age has been 18 since 1971. Also, the election was on November 6th. Thumbs up.
Photo from David J. Phillip / AP

The voting age has been 18 since 1971. Also, the election was on November 6th. Thumbs up.

32.

How about legislators turning back the clock then making shady deals about it in the aftermath? Anything on the books about that?
Photo from Politico

How about legislators turning back the clock then making shady deals about it in the aftermath? Anything on the books about that?

33.

He sure did.
Photo from City of Macon

He sure did.

34.

And I think I've filled my BINGO card. Sorry, Sen. Davis. What in the actual hell.
Photo from Michael Conroy / AP

And I think I've filled my BINGO card. Sorry, Sen. Davis. What in the actual hell.

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