4. You can never find your shoes…
5. Until you do.
If only adults could be so non-judgmental, right?
12. Your silverware drawer looks like this:
Because kids can figure out child-proof, but they cannot magically grow three feet to reach the cabinets up there.
14. You understand the intricacies of attempting to wipe.
And reward them for trying to fix the never-ending-toilet-paper-roll problem they were having.
15. You’re always out of aluminum foil.
And let’s not even start on the plastic wrap.
16. This is as clean as your bathroom sink gets.
Ick. Why can’t they just use the step-stool you put in there?
17. You can never find your camera.
So they do know how to use the step-stool.
19. You know how hard it is to sleep in a bed for a kid.
Unless it’s your bed.
21. You understand that toys get hungry.
Why with the butter and the Elmo, kids? Why?
23. You know that child shoes are really word problems…
If the right shoe leaves the foot at two miles and hour and travels twelve inches, and the left shoe leaves the foot 30 minutes later and travels seven feet from secondary location (t2), then…you will never find both shoes at the same time.
24. You can see that this is a surprised man looking at a tiny elephant.
That is a true story. Who needs phone jacks and electrical outlets when imagination is so much cooler?
25. You spend more time putting stuff away than taking it out when you shop.
How many tubs of candy do they think you need anyway? Too bad for them the answer is zero.
27. You know how to put sippy cups to good use.
Because everyone needs something to drink in a house with small children.