The Bougiest Peenk G-WegonA Zippy ConvertibleI'm NOT Driving, Come To My House!The Back of the PostMates Vespa
The Ill Lines on Etsy - SPARKLE BITCHES! (Am I pretty now?)Trader Joe's or RalphsGO OUT??? No. PostMates.Amazon Prime... My Cart is SO FULL!
New Bewbies!!Fake Tanning... I'm not nearly orange enough.LIPS, LIPS and MOAR LIPS!Hair Esstenshuns, If I don't have long hair I'm not a whole person.
An Aging Actor... the more washed up the better!A Backup Dayancer... Hot, Sexy, Dumb as a Rock.A Rock Star from 1995. Bonus points if he tastes like stale whisky and cigarettes.The PostMates Delivery Guy... he smells like carbs.
My girl at the Post Office- I see her more than anyone!NO ONE! THEY'RE ALL FAKE!!!!!!!!!My SissyPoo. She's the BEST!My PostMates delivery guy.
Bananas Covered in ANYTHING! (...and I mean anything)Chicken Fingers... NO SAUCE!Family Sized Portions of PastaPeanut Butter Magnum Bars - by the box
Which Trisha Paytas Are You?
Ahh the days of innocence. You have a boundless self confidence (crippled by extremely low self esteem) and the bougiest fake tan on the boardwalk. You're just a sweet sugar baby looking for her sugar daddy. What could possibly go wrong? ...and why won't Quentin return your text messages?
What numbs emotional outbursts better than online shopping ya'll? The hoard is growing bigger than your credit card bills, and you're constantly finding 'treasures' with the tags still on whenever you attempt to ascend Mt. Bougie. You occasionally hear muffled cries for help... but that must just be the ghost of your dead boyfriend playing records under all the piles of 'pannies'. No matter how much you buy- the emptiness inside never seems to be filled. Why don't people love you as much as you love you?
When that sad lonely pit forms in the hollow of your stomach and blaming everyone else in your life for all your woes is no longer cutting it... binge eat an emotionally charged meal of deep fried beige foods. Make sure to film all the sadness, but try not to mess up your lip gloss! Also, take a big bite out of every cannoli, you wouldn't want anyone else to get any.
Oh angel baby cakes... everyone is SOY mean to you and they are all nothing but FAKE FRIENDS and SNAKES and you give and give and give and give and you get NOTHING in return even though you open your little bitch heart to them but they just kick it around and USE YOU for money and only come around when you have FUN things to do. Being a victim is what you do best, now get on that kitchen floor and try to wring just a few more tears out of those puffy eyes.