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7 Tips For People That Do Not Know How To Fly

Flying will always suck. No matter how many times you do it, there will always be people that do it wrong.

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1. WAIT for your boarding group to be called.

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Why are you standing up before your boarding group is called? Why? What is your purpose, other than hovering over a line that is not for you yet!? You literally are not making the process faster. Stop it.

2. If you know your bag is NOT going to fit, check it.

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You KNOW. You know your bag is not going to fit in the overhead compartment. And yet, you refused to gate check it when you had the chance. WHY ARE YOU WASTING PEOPLE'S TIME?

3. Recognize the pros and cons of the window seat.

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If you pick the window seat of your own accord, prepare to pee 2-4 hours later at your new destination. Don’t be that person that makes TWO people get up.

4. Research the safety rules beforehand.

I HAVE NO CLUE what the safety rules on an aircraft are!? Is it just me!? I try to listen, I really do. I just have a slight problem in that I zone out every time the flight attendants start to speak. How is the seat a flotation device? Are there life vests, and where are they kept?? How do these oxygen bags work? Am I supposed to entrust my life to a dusty bag?? God forbid I go down, because I am fucked.

(this tip is actually to never be like me.)

5. Be as uncomfortable as everyone else.

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If you want to be a decent human being, DO NOT let your seat back on the plane when you know darn well there is not enough foot room for the person behind you. You’re an extra special kind of asshole if you do it and there are TVs. How do you expect me to watch when the screen is now mere centimeters from my face? HOW??

6. If you don't know your neighbor, they do not want to know you.

Warren Goldswain / Via stocksy.com

Don’t talk. Read your book. Put in your earphones. For the love of all things holy, BE PREPARED…to not talk to your neighbor.

7. Wait your turn.

Via static.pexels.com

You’re at the back of the plane and you’ve been in the air for 4 hours. It sucks. However, you literally cannot leave the aircraft until everyone seated in front of you leaves. SO, SIT THE FUCK DOWN.

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