1. A deadly plague has infected America for far too long now.
*Puts on hazmat suit*
2. It’s contaminated our neighborhoods…
Suburbia hasn’t been the same since.
3. …and killed men off in the comfort of their own homes.
Dads everywhere are at highest risk.
4. Even our pets have been traumatized.
That cat is obviously terrified.
5. Scientists call this plague “cargo shorts,” and we must finally kill this infection once and for all.
Many have already fallen, but we can save so many more.
6. Luckily, the fashion world has been tirelessly working on a cure for quite some time now. Men, say hello to every other pair of shorts in existence.
Finally some relief!
7. Non-cargo shorts are actually pretty incredible inventions.
Non-cargo shorts > color TV.
8. They let you show off some extra leg…
“Sun’s out, thighs out.”
9. …or your colorful personality.
Make all your cargo-wearing friends green with envy.
12. Hell, you can even cut up some old jeans and they’ll still look better.
Shorts made out of a shower curtain would also look better.
14. Some skeptics will try to convince you that cargo shorts are practical, but at what cost?
It’s not worth it.
- Sean Spicer said "his intention is never to lie" as White House press secretary, after making false claims this weekend about Trump's inauguration.
- President Trump signed an executive order that bans foreign organizations that receive US funding from providing abortions.
- Democratic lawmakers say Trump's new hotel in Washington, DC, has lost over $1 million and violates its lease with the government.
- The all-day breakfast boom at McDonald's is over as sales fall for the fast food giant 🍳 📉