You know that you'll tell yourself that tonight is the night that you'll go to bed early...
...except going to bed early just isn't a realistic option.
If you make an actual attempt, you'll just end up tossing and turning until you say "fuck it" and give up.
You know that every minute counts when setting your 4,000 alarms.
And that each night consists of counting to see how many hours of sleep you'll actually get.
You know that the night transforms you into a creative genius...
...while the day forces you to become a sleepy sloth.
You can basically name just about every late-night coffee shop, restaurant, and store within a 10-mile radius of you.
Which is helpful since your appetite also awakens at night.
You know that putting your phone down while in bed is nearly impossible.
And that you always forget that your friends are asleep when you text them at 3 a.m.
You know that counting sheep is bullshit.
And that you'd rather count how many episodes of a show you've gone through in one night.
When you decide to finally fall asleep, you always try to beat the sun...
...but then end up disappointed and realize that you've fucked up big-time.
Your 4,000 alarms will go off after what FEELS like five minutes of sleep.
And you'll crawl toward your gallon of coffee just to keep you afloat.
Your friends and family will always ask you how you even function this way.
And even though you don't know the answer, you get by anyway because you enjoy being a creature of the night.