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    Jun 5, 2019

    23 Straight Pride Tweets That Are As Funny As The Idea Of Straight Pride

    Straight pride is just 50 shades of khaki.

    As you may have already heard, three men want to hold a "straight pride parade" in Boston. 🙄

    “Straight Pride” parade planned in Boston. With floats.

    And as stupid as that is, it's prompted some pretty funny tweets. Here are some of the best ones:

    1.

    The Straight Pride Parade is just five guys wearing this

    2.

    The Straight Pride Parade should end at a giant clitoris so they just end up walking in circles until they die because they can’t find it.

    3.

    isn’t a straight pride parade just traffic

    4.

    Honeydew is the straight pride parade of melons. Boring, flavorless, and nobody ever really asks for it.

    5.

    Straights are really doing a straight pride parade...

    6.

    you know the straight pride parade is just everyone who got rejected from a conga line at a party

    7.

    if the straight pride parade happens, I might actually stand a chance on Xbox Live for a couple of hours

    8.

    me: [pointing at mouth] what's this for god: saying things me: straight pride god: not stupid things

    9.

    Straight pride parade lmao people really be out here like this

    10.

    me explaining to my boyfriend why we’re going to straight pride

    11.

    I’m confused I thought they already had straight pride isn’t that what coachella is?

    12.

    The secret password to the straight pride parade is “reverse racism”

    13.

    A straight pride parade is just 5 guys bullying someone wearing their school football team jersey in the middle of the street.

    14.

    If the straight pride parade doesn't have entire floats celebrating their one creative invention - fake queer porn where all the fake lesbians are attempting to give each other hysterectomies with their long, bejeweled nails - is it really straight pride?

    15.

    Straight Pride is going to be the longest parade ever because they are going to walk so freaking slow.

    16.

    every time you catch yourself thinking there should be a “straight pride” parade put a dollar in a jar and then at the end of the month use that money to go see a therapist

    17.

    if y’all heterosexuals want a straight pride parade,we have to ban heterosexual marriage first

    18.

    straight pride is basically year round: january: toyotathon february: super bowl march: st. patricks day april: easter july: old navy 4th of july sale october: columbus day november: black friday december: santacon give us one f*cking month, damn.

    19.

    To those of you celebrating straight pride, remember your flag colors and what they mean!

    20.

    why do straight people think they need a straight pride parade netflix is already paying $100 million to keep friends on, isn't that enough

    21.

    My straight pride parade is heading to checkout after selecting socks at Costco

    22.

    Heteros: we’re planning a Straight Pride Parade. Me:

    23.

    Isn’t a straight pride parade just the drive thru line at Chick-Fil-A?

    In conclusion, "straight pride" is unnecessary, foolish, and offensive. In the words of legendary band Smash Mouth:

    Straight Pride Parade????? FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!

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