17 Santa Letters That Are Petty, Savage, Hilarious, And Downright Eye-Opening

"Dear Santa, I think you should be fired from your job because you skipped my house..."

1. This kid who's looking to sabotage his mean brother:

Twitter: @Kim_Christenson

"Dear Santa Claus, I don't think our baby brother should have presents this year. He is hurting us and he said you are trash. So think about giving him presents. From: A nice boy Thomas"

2. This kid who has NO time for small talk:

Twitter: @Ciieerraaa__

"Dear Santa Claus, let's skip to the end, these are things I want for Christmas..."

3. Same with this kid.

whatsaflashbang / Via reddit.com

"Dear Santa, How are you? Well, enough chit-chat. Let's get down to business. This year I want..."

4. This kid who's looking to put Santa into unemployment:

ANinjaShadow / Via reddit.com

"Dear Santa Claus, I think you should be fired from your job because you skipped my house..."

5. This kid who has an ultimatum:

jawn317 / Via reddit.com

6. This kid who sneaked in not just one jab, but two:

Twitter: @n8rz

"Thank you for the presents when they come. I love you Santa and thank you. P.S. Are you real, Santa? P.P.S. I love Jesus more though don't get mad."

7. This kid who isn't opposed to screaming:

vintageblues / Via reddit.com

"I couldn't call you because I didn't know your phone number! What is it?!!?!!"

8. This kid who's looking to other celestial folks for his presents:

bigbabyjesus76 / Via reddit.com

"Dear Gloria and Jesus, I want a Nintendo Switch. Santa does not exist."

9. This kid who sounds like she's been ghosted:

vivi2012 / Via reddit.com

"Dear Santa, I am sorry for yelling and being mean. Will you still bring me presents? Love Kristin. P.S. Write back! P.S.S. I really am sorry. P.S.S.S. Have a Merry Christmas!"

10. This kid who's just doing as he's told:

Twitter: @FelixFardo

11. This kid who knows he's been scammed:

p_partha / Via reddit.com

"You will find this at Target. I've given my parents money for no reason over the years so they owe me."

12. This kid who wants a two-for-one special:

passion4pizza / Via reddit.com

"P.S. Clean my room."

13. This kid who knows their rights:

DitkasMoustache / Via reddit.com

14. This kid who's looking to start that trust fund early:

vivi2012 / Via reddit.com

"I'm so sorry of what I did in the past and thank you for the Christmas letter. I love it, but what I want for Christmas this year is 53 million dollars. Please write another letter this year. I love you."

15. This kid who's not messing around:

PixelatingPony / Via reddit.com

"Dear Santa, I have three words to tell you: I hate you. You Santa did not give me the toys I wanted for Christmas. When I take a photo with you the only person I know is you Santa are not real. You are just a man in a suit that acts like Santa. Sorry."

16. This kid who will take cash:

transplanted / Via imgur.com

17. And finally, this kid who is just stating reindeer facts:

Twitter: @NacieLou13

"I know you are not real, but if you were you would not be able to deliver presents because reindeer can not fly and there is not enough time to deliver over one million presents."

H/T r/funny