Put one hand in the air for no reason while you're in bed.Check other people's windshield wipers while driving to make sure yours aren't going too fast.Pretend to look at something else when someone is blocking the product you want in the grocery store.Realize you've been singing the wrong lyrics to a song for forever after looking up the actual lyrics.Hoard photos on your phone because you never know when you're going to need them.Get immediately repulsed after touching wet food in the sink.Refuse to eat until you find the perfect show on Netflix.Reconsider buying something online after seeing the shipping price.Never pulling the right chain to turn on your ceiling fan.Listen to a song, forget you're listening to a song, and are surprised when it's over.Become immediately embarrassed when no one laughs at the joke you thought was funny.Wake up five minutes before your phone alarm goes off and get sad because you could have slept in that time.Smile awkwardly at someone you know but don't know well enough to say hi to.Watch cartoons after a scary movie so you don't have nightmares.Hear a recording of your own voice and immediately hate it.Check behind the shower curtain when you go into a bathroom.Become embarrassed when you think of something awkward you did years ago.Think the '90s were 10 years ago.Reread an email immediately after you've sent it.Park in a far away spot rather than parallel park in a close spot.Walk around your entire house when you're on a long phone call.Procrastinate taking a shower, but then procrastinate getting out of the shower.Spell out Wed-nes-day in your head.Spell out Feb-ru-ary in your head.Rehearse arguments in your head that probably will never happen.Set your alarm earlier than you need to so you can snooze.Get excited when you know your roommates are going to be out of town for the weekend.Stop the microwave one second before it goes off.Smile at dogs and ignore their owner.Feel your phone vibrate, even though it didn't.Put your music on shuffle but skip the songs until you find the one you want to listen to.Turn your music down when you look for a parking space.Forget someone's name after you're introduced to them.Wonder how many photos people have where you're in the background.Lie about being five minutes away when you haven't left your house.Pretend you don't hear your parents calling your name.Buy more than you need when grocery shopping because you are hungry.Align the noodles of your mac 'n' cheese on your fork.Push all the bubbles on your soft drink's plastic lid just for fun.Flush a toilet in a public bathroom with your foot because germs.
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