Food·Posted on Dec 18, 201717 Reasons Eggs Should Be Banned From Everyone's StomachsFight me.by Pablo ValdiviaBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink There are many things in life that I hate (like people), but there's nothing I despise more than your breakfast fave, eggs. divademita_87 / Via instagram.com Hear me out (or don't, I'm not your parent): 1. For one, what are eggs anyway? An unformed chicken fetus? I'll pass, but thanks. Twitter: @Steinbukken_ 2. You also have to crack 'em, which is one more step than I'm willing to take for this trash food. Twitter: @CookingClaire 3. And that's if they didn't already get destroyed on your way home from the grocery store. Twitter: @_naomikuhn_ 4. They smell like a septic tank that's dangerously full. Twitter: @elellie 5. They also have a default taste of NOTHING and a texture that's not even worth describing. Twitter: @RogueIRL 6. Sure, eggs are versatile, but who thought runny eggs were a cute option? They violate all the food around them! Twitter: @Margaret0105200 7. A lightly cooked egg also puts you at risk for salmonella. Yea, lemme just die for an over-easy egg. Twitter: @EliseShrock 8. You can also thank that egg for ruining cookie dough. abcnews.go.com Apart from the flour, of course. I'm well-versed on cookie dough! 9. People feel the need to add eggs to every single breakfast and brunch dish known to humankind. Twitter: @alicehanratty 10. They also mock me every damn Christmas. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, SMUG-FACED EGGNOG. Twitter: @cabot_phillips 11. And if you thought I'd be safe from eggs in the summer, nopeee. Someone had to go and ruin June 3rd for all of us. Google 12. Scrambled eggs look like the bits and chunks of a college student's drunken vomit. Twitter: @LeoNor53 13. And a boiled egg has the power to transform a delicious dish into a problematic mess. Twitter: @Amberexia 14. I, however, draw the line at poached eggs. My gag reflex can't take it. Twitter: @brckcnstrings 15. Torture contraptions are being built to summon these egg demons, and frankly, I don't need a turd lookin' egg in my life. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF BuzzFeed 16. *vomits violently in mouth* Twitter: @whatsamadder 17. Excuse me, while I wipe my memory of these vile, vile images. Twitter: @hardliqourmix All you egg lovers out there can do as you please, but I'm not trying to eggs-ecute my appetite. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF FOX Yes, that's an egg pun. I know, hilarious.