IMPORTANT NOTE: All chests are ranked and measured on a scale of zero to five bear emojis. Each furry chest was evaluated on its hair thickness, surface area, and happy trail integration to determine its rank.
23. Daniel Radcliffe
Chest Hair Rating: ½ out of 5 bears
22. Michael Ealy
Why it matters: Michael thinks like a man by accessorizing that OJ with a light sprinkle of fuzz. Breakfast in bed never looked so good.
Chest Hair Rating: ½ out of 5 bears
21. Nick Jonas
Chest Hair Rating: 1 out of 5 bears
20. Common
Why it matters: Glory, glory, glory. There's nothing common about this rapper's tuft of pectoral greatness. Though there's room for expansion, he's on his way to becoming the world's first surfing bear.
Chest Hair Rating: 1 ½ out of 5 bears
19. Zac Quinto
Why it matters: Running your hand through that spocky forest is a trek worth taking. Watch out though, you may possibly klingon and never let go.
Chest Hair Rating: 1 ½ out of 5 bears
18. Chris Evans
Why it matters: Oh, captain. Hairy superheroes can save you from even the most unbearable moments. The hair here is finely dusted and guaranteed to make any person steam uncontrollably.
Chest Hair Rating: 1 ½ out of 5 bears
17. Henry Cavill
Why it matters: Let's face it, the most super thing about this man is that sPECtacular chest. Like kryptonite, the hair will have you pleading for help. It's so worth it though.
Chest Hair Rating: 2 out of 5 bears
16. Naveen Andrews
Why it matters: It's easy to get lost when staring too long. Unlike an island, the chest hair has generously bridged itself with the belly so it wouldn't feel so isolated.
Chest Hair Rating: 2 out 5 bears
15. Maxwell
Why it matters: That necklace gets a little more sumthin' sumthin' in one afternoon than most do in a lifetime. Max is doing very well in giving it a soft, fuzzy home.
Chest Hair Rating: 2 out of 5 bears
14. Andy Cohen
Why it matters: Watch what happens when the real housedaddy of New York comes to quench your thirst. The chest hair isn't the only thing that's wet around here. Bravo Andy, bravo.
Chest Hair Rating: 2 out of 5 bears
13. Jake Gyllenhaal
Why it matters: Many have broken their backs after falling deeply for this furry prince. No matter where you decide to touch him during your tent sleepovers, hair is guaranteed to be there.
Chest Hair Rating: 2 ½ out of 5 bears
12. Jason Statham
Why it matters: An epic chest mane is what separates the good action stars from the great ones. Every hair is far from expendable and is highly necessary for protection from bullets and the occasional bee sting.
Chest Hair Rating: 2 ½ out of 5 bears
11. Jude Law
Why it matters: This is one mystery Sherlock Holmes doesn't need to solve. Whether his shirt is on or off, the hair will always reveal itself to you, whether you want it to or not.
Chest Hair Rating: 3 out of 5 bears
10. Antonio Banderas
Why it matters: Mask or no mask, Zorro has got you completely covered... a whole chest's worth. Snuggling up to that beats any big-eyed cat in boots.
Chest Hair Rating: 3 out of 5 bears
9. Bradley Cooper
Why it matters: This manscaping puts giraffe-shaped bushes to shame. Like a true art piece, the blending from chest to happy trail is seamless and is bound to give you a hangover any day of the week.
Chest Hair Rating: 3 ½ out of 5 bears
8. Pierce Brosnan
Why it matters: Bonding your hand to that chest is a sure fire way to keep you from doing anything productive. Where is the Bond Girl application?
Chest Hair Rating: 3 ½ out of 5 bears
7. Hugh Jackman
Why it matters: Humans... take note of this mutant's flawless way of being. Petting a wolverine's chest is a proven way to reduce stress and increase happiness; that's if you don't get a claw in your back.
Chest Hair Rating: 3 ½ out of 5 bears
6. Mark Ruffalo
Why it matters: With a large amount of fur, Ruffalo's nipples remain a buried secret worth digging for. They become noticeable when Ruffalo puffs out his chest in anger. He'll also turn large and green, but hey, some people are into the whole Hulk-sexual thing.
Chest Hair Rating: 4 out of 5 bears
5. Jon Hamm
Chest Hair Rating: 4 out of 5 bears
4. Paul Rudd
Why it matters: This is ruddiculous. Not only can this rug save you from hypothermia, it also has a wicked sense of humor. No other chest bears as much emotional utility as this one does. Want a shoulder to cry on? Try Paul Rudd's hair tufts instead.
Chest Hair Rating: 4 ½ out of 5 bears
3. Nev Schulman
Why it matters: Use either of these images to catfish a potential lover and you'll be guaranteed to get a hair-raising response. Unlike others, Nev never has to fake it. 100% real human hair.
Chest Hair Rating: 4 ½ out of 5 bears
2. Tom Selleck
Why it matters: Magnum's fur and pornstache were the most underrated on-screen duo of the '80s. Solving beach-front crime with a rug for a chest provides both protection from the sun and is aesthetically necessary when making important phone calls in the sand.
Chest Hair Rating: 4 ¾ out of 5 bears
1. Sean Connery
Chest Hair Rating: Full Grown Bear
