Are You Cute Or Rugged?
You’re the cutest, fluffiest bunny that ever hopped. You live in a world built with daydreams and rainbows in a marshmallow castle. When you speak, birds stop to listen and woodland creatures appear. Which isn’t as great as it seems: Your landlord has a strict “no animals” rule, and marshmallows are probably the least practical building tool, so your roof leaks when it rains. Maybe it’s time you toughened up a bit?
Google “as cute as a button” – if your photo doesn’t come up as the first photo result, then you should sue. Or at least get the cute mafia to put a gummy bear head in their beds. The trouble with being so cute and small is that you often get stepped on. But there’s no reason why cute things can’t be tough; so toughen up buttercup, and show the world your rugged side.
You’re the sweet side of tough and rugged – you’ll rough it in the woods, but only if everyone else is going, it’s for a festival, and it’s for no more than two nights. You still like your home comforts, and you bruise like a peach. You’ve started eating bread crusts to put hairs on your chest and you’re already running through the mechanics of striking a match off it in your head. Your time will come.
People who don’t know you too well might think you’re all sweetness and light (your eyelashes are adorable, to be fair) but inside you’re pretty tough. Like one of those miniature spanners or maybe a novelty bottle opener. You like camping, petting scruffy-looking dogs, and drinking milk from the carton. You’re properly on the path to tough-guy-dom. Good on you!
You’re a rock-steady, tough old boot. You like manly pursuits, such as whittling bits of wood, eating red-hot chilies while staring down foes, and wouldn’t even flinch if you trod on a toy car with bare feet. You refuse to be held by the elements and will walk through wind, snow, hail, and more wind to get to where you want to go. You’re an all-round tough bloke, and random men nod at you in the street, automatically bowing to your supreme manliness. Congratulations, just don’t shake our hand with your death grip.
A fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, a fear of small spaces is called claustrophobia, but a fear of YOU is called just being sensible – you’re one tough guy! You’re as tough as they get. Terrifying bosses, confrontation with scary shop assistants, fierce dogs – NOTHING can get the best of you. You’d sleep on a bed of nails if you could get one at the bed shop. Everyone thought you had a bear skin rug in your bedroom, but it turned out it was a live bear who was just too scared to move. You are a carpenter mixed with a grizzled fisherman mixed with one of those old-timey circus strongmen. You are the ultimate man.