I Rewatched "Aquamarine" For The First Time In A Long Time And I Have A Lot Of Thoughts

Hailey and Claire are in EIGHTH GRADE?!

No time for small talk, let's jump right in. Shall we?

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Growing up I assumed Hailey and Claire were in high school.

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Hailey and Claire seemed so much older to 10-year-old me. They mention something about going into eighth grade, so they're 13? 14? Which brings me to my next point...

What are Cecelia and her friends doing?

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Cecelia is learning to drive so she's at least 15 or 16 and same with her friends... SO WHY ARE THEY BULLYING THESE EIGHTH GRADERS? They are so rude to Hailey and Claire who are basically children? Don't they have better things to do?

Aquamarine invented DIY.

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Turning a t-shirt into a dress? Starfish for earrings? Pinterest wishes she could innovate like Aqua!

And Raymond? Doesn't seem to be a very good lifeguard.

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Okay I'm gonna say it: Raymond is NOT a good lifeguard!!!

Exhibit A: he feels the need to take his shirt off before he jumps in the pool to save Claire?

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That feels a little time sensitive?

Exhibit B: Raymond puts a band-aid on Aqua's wound without cleaning it off!

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Yeah I KNOW Aqua can't touch water, but he barely even tried. Couldn't it get infected?

Exhibit C: When Cecelia pushes Aqua in the water Raymond says "I'll go get my rescue board!" and comes back like 10 MINUTES later with a SURFBOARD? HELLO?

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He has clearly had no training.

Are they allowed to say that?

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This movie is rated PG, yet Hailey calls Cecelia a "royal bitch." That feels like something that shouldn't have been allowed. But it's kind of iconic.

Wouldn't Aqua get a tail when she cries?

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We've established that she gets her tail when she's wet, yet she cries and nothing? C'mon guys where's the realism?

Speaking of Miss Aquamarine...

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Okay I'm gonna say something controversial. Aqua's "Last Splash" dress isn't that cute. Like she looks pretty, but as an adult I don't like the dress as much.

The fact that JoJo didn't get to sing in this?

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JoJo was robbed of her vocal moment. I would have loved her singing "Island on The Sun" on stage with that band. Missed opportunity.

And finally, THE BEST LINE OF THE FILM!

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I said what I said.