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Who Is Your UChicago Barista Crush?

Are you drawn to the girl with the septum piercing at Harper or the beanie wearing sad boy who works at Cobb? Take MODA's quiz to find the nitro cold brew slow drip drinking barista of your dreams.

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  1. What's your standard drink order?

    Just hot coffee because there's never any ice
    Just hot coffee because there's never any ice
    Anything with a double shot of espresso
    Anything with a double shot of espresso
    Double ristretto venti nonfat organic chocolate brownie frappuccino extra hot with foam and whipped cream upside down double blended
    Double ristretto venti nonfat organic chocolate brownie frappuccino extra hot with foam and whipped cream upside down double blended
    Joe Tea because I like the bottle
    Joe Tea because I like the bottle
  2. What do you typically buy with your coffee?

    An everything bagel since that was the only flavor left...
    An everything bagel since that was the only flavor left...
    Something vegan. I'm vegan now. By the way, did I mention I'm vegan?
    Something vegan. I'm vegan now. By the way, did I mention I'm vegan?
    A smelly Snail Thai dish that will gross out the people in my Sosc class
    A smelly Snail Thai dish that will gross out the people in my Sosc class
    A stale pastry
    A stale pastry
  3. What kind of music do you listen to when you work?

    Mariah Carey's Christmas album, Flo Rida... Fetty Wap. Depends on the day!
    Mariah Carey's Christmas album, Flo Rida... Fetty Wap. Depends on the day!
    The sound of heavy breathing, maybe sirens or guttural screaming
    The sound of heavy breathing, maybe sirens or guttural screaming
    The indie/alternative bands everyone else also listens to
    The indie/alternative bands everyone else also listens to
    I don't listen to music when I work
    I don't listen to music when I work
  4. Best part about your favorite coffee shop?

    No one else is ever there, I get the place to myself!
    No one else is ever there, I get the place to myself!
    People watching
    People watching
    I can actually get work done!
    I can actually get work done!
    The music they play
    The music they play
  5. Thoughts on Starbucks?

    Okay coffee, shitty food
    Okay coffee, shitty food
    I don't really have any strong feelings about Starbucks
    I don't really have any strong feelings about Starbucks
    The designs of their holiday cups consistently fail to uphold good Christian values
    The designs of their holiday cups consistently fail to uphold good Christian values
    An inherent vice of capitalism
    An inherent vice of capitalism
  6. I'd give my favorite coffee shop a health code rating of

    A
    A
    B
    B
    C
    C
    Shut it down.
    Shut it down.

Who Is Your UChicago Barista Crush?

You got: Zedd from Cobb Coffee Shop

Zedd enjoys longboarding and listening to lightsaber noises on loop for 8 hours at a time.

Zedd from Cobb Coffee Shop
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You got: Tallulah from Harper Cafe

One time Tallulah stared into the abyss and it actually didn't stare back at her.

Tallulah from Harper Cafe
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You got: Pyper from eX Libris Cafe

Pyper doesn't know why the toaster is broken again but she likes your ironic dad hat.

Pyper from eX Libris Cafe
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You got: Axl from Hallowed Grounds

Axl is in a medieval punk rock band. You've probably never heard of them before.

Axl from Hallowed Grounds
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