Hello. My name is Kayla*, and I do not work for Old Spice. However, Old Spice approached me to discuss their new commercial that aired last night, and TBH I'm confused AF!
Sorry guys, are y'all okay?? The show was a true spectacle, but then you went and dropped this commercial IN FRENCH. Was this a mistake? I NEED YOUR HELP, READERS OF THE WEB.
It all starts with a woman looking distraught and clutching a red sweater.
She then sniffs this, *ahem*, dashing man's neck, assuming he smells like the fresh sea breeze they are standing in... Or she just doesn't understand personal space.
She shuffles over to a friend's house, who has, like, the most perfect hair I've ever seen.
She seems VERY upset.
Together, they round up a bunch of women who frantically start screaming "Old Spice!" Assuming they are searching for this good-smelling man? I don't know, guys. I don't know what's going on.
There's one truly beautiful shot of all the village women screaming out their windows, which makes me wonder if everything is a musical in France. If I learn to speak it***, can i audition??
The original woman drops to her knees in utter desperation, and once again I'm not quite sure what. is. going. on. Lady, all you've done is scream "Old Spice." Like, go to the store and buy some damn deodorant if you love his smell so much.
At the end of it all, she dramatically twirls around to find the man with a dog.
Okay, hang on. HANG ON A MINUTE. I have an idea. Please hold.
I just remembered online translation is a thing, so I've solved my own problems! Here's the English-subtitled version:
ALRIGHT, I SEE YOU, OLD SPICE. I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING. The dog's NAME is Old Spice!!
So after all that it turns out she lost her DOG Old Spice, and Captain Goodsmell over here saved the damn day! PHEW. I am so glad we — I mean, I solved this. But thank you for going on this journey with me!
After deeper thought, I FINALLY understand the joke. They're trolling all those over-the-top luxury fragrance commercials, which is actually kind of funny and refreshing.
So, the point is that you don't NEED to break the bank to smell good. Old Spice’s new premium Captain scent is a high-end scent for men that's actually affordable AF! Also, here's the version they aired without subtitles if you skipped my explanation and want to solve this on your own.
*My name is not actually Kayla. It has been changed to protect my true identity from the French trolls.
**I have taken all but one French class and dropped out because it was at 9 a.m. on Saturdays.
***Come to think of it, I can't speak any other language except for English. Brb, looking up language classes now!
All images via Old Spice unless otherwise noted.