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9 Scary Things Not Covered By Obamacare

Obamacare covers a lot of great things. But if any of this happens to you, you’re on your own.

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1. Obamacare covers vision appointments for children. It does not cover care for supernatural eyesight.

2. Obamacare removed lifetime limits on coverage. It doesn’t extend into the afterlife.

3. Obamacare covers children with pre-existing conditions. It does not protect you from something you loved in childhood coming back to haunt you.

4. Obamacare covers most vaccinations for free. It does not provide a zombie vaccination (yet).

5. Obamacare covers an annual wellness visit where you could talk to your doctor about dizzy spells. It cannot prevent someone from putting a spell on you.

6. Obamacare covers osteoporosis screenings. It does not cover walking skeletons.

7. Obamacare covers you if you get injured on the job. It does not provide coverage for injuries sustained in your nightmares.

8. Obamacare covers laboratory tests. It does not cover laboratory creations.

9. Obamacare covers maternity and newborn care. It can’t help if you give birth to Satan’s son.

At least these are all just scary movies... Right?