back to top

DATING STYLE: How To Meet Your Mate

It's a jungle out there in the world of dating - but for those looking for a spot of summer love, now is the perfect time to learn how to be a tiger.

Posted on

In her new book, The Dating Survival Guide, Dr Pam Spurr has the ultimate guide to hunting down Mr Right and moving in for the kill.

From flirting to sex, the psychologist and dating expert has ten tactics to build lasting love.

Louise Gray looks at a few dos and don'ts of the dating gameYour top ten tactics for dating success to cut out and keep.


This is not a workout routine to get you physically fit, but tips to get you 'dating fit'. As Spurr points out, to make it in dating you have to be optimistic, realistic, confident and ready for anything.

'There's stiff competition out there for all the great guys - which is why dating is such a jungle. Only the fit survive.'


In the hectic modern world, we have little time to meet the perfect partner, so it's essential to make a good first impression when the opportunity for love comes along. Spurr advises attractive body language, a confident posture and relaxed small talk, 'so you can make the most of those spontaneous meetings'.

. BE CONFIDENT - AVOID THE 'I'M UNWORTHY COMPLEX' Too many women feel they are unworthy of dating the men they meet. Perhaps of the luck of using pick up lines But confidence is the best way to get your man. Sounds simple? It is.

According to the expert: 'Confidence will get you your man roughly six times out of ten.'

. SEXY NOT EASY It's a sad but true fact that many men are just out for sex. 'You may want dating and sex and then perhaps a relationship. But he may simply want sex,' Spurr warns.

She advises holding off until you are sure this is a man you feel confident and comfortable with.

. BE BUSY - AVOID THE PRINCESS SYNDROME Spurr calls the habit of waiting for the perfect man 'the princess syndrome'. But the modern women has no need to wait by the phone for her Prince Charming. She needs to keep busy and confident.

Remember, 'confidence and self esteem are valued by worthy men'.

. BE KNOWING NOT A KNOW-IT-ALL Contrary to popular belief men are not looking for a 'dumb blonde'. But nor are they looking for a competition, here we recommend some cute puns and jokes as well.

Spurr warns women not to compete with their date. 'Men's egos are like delicate flowers when you first start dating. Men like to feel they can have a conversation with an intelligent woman, but they don't want to be threatened by it.'

. BE ABLE TO SORT THE PRINCES FROM THE FROGS According to the Office for National Statistics there are three times more single men in Britain today than 30 years ago. But that doesn't mean finding the one for you is any easier.

Spurr warns against 'Mr Nasty', 'The Beckham Bore' - who talks about sport too much - and 'The Serial Seducer' to name a few. Instead what you want is what she calls 'a prince' - someone who makes you feel good about yourself, In this case we always recommend using cheesy pick up lines. You can always learn them online.

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!