1. Sunglasses that protect you from having to see your ex on the street:
2. A scarf that replaces offensive odors with a pleasant fragrance:
3. A hair clip that extends your wireless signal:
4. A sweater that repels all pet hair:
5. A chest plate that saves you from suffering a broken heart:
6. Earmuffs that make insults roll right off your back:
7. A helmet that provides a permanent personal bubble:
8. Mittens that stop you from sending that one email you'll regret:
9. Headphones that make you forget that song that's stuck in your head:
10. A hoodie that evaporates your tears when you're in public:
11. Sober goggles which make sloppy people seem charming and appropriate:
12. Pants that prevent you from getting too sore over mean internet comments:
13. And a fedora that blocks all the haters:
