1. The Quinceañera wearing a bright, large, and spectacular dress.
2. El sonidero who keeps interrupting his own music by mumbling some random DJ stuff into a microphone every 10 seconds.
3. RIDICULOUSLY LOUD MUSIC PLAYING WHILE YOU EAT.
4. Fog machines.
5. Obnoxious multi-colored disco lights.
6. "Amor Eterno" as the default soundtrack for the father/daughter dance. EVERY TIME.
7. People GETTING DOWN on the dance floor to some Sonora Dinamita.
8. The musical switch between cumbias and merengue to hip-hop and bumpin’ and grindin’ jams.
9. Coditos and beans SOMEHOW make their way onto your plate.
10. "Quinceañera" will always be playing at the reception:
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11. Your mom always wants you to take the recuerdo home.
12. Chambelanes who are clearly over it.
OVER. IT.
13. So. Much. Hairspray.
14. That uncle who totally nailed this whole fashion thing.
15. Someone’s cute little brother who dominated men’s fashion.
16. An oversized tacky limo.
17. Videographers who record pretty much EVERYTHING.
18. Photographers who will take a million photos that will wind up in a binder somewhere.
19. Photo op in front of a church.
20. Photo op with a priest.
21. Photo op in front of a random fountain in a park.
Or a bridge.
22. Photo op with EVERY SINGLE padrino and madrina.
23. Photo op with that cousin, who for some reason, feels the urge to throw up a gang sign.
24. Never-ending kisses on the cheek at the reception.
25. A giant meringue cake.
26. These balloon thingies.
27. Mole.
28. Little children running around the dance floor being a bunch of mocosos dando un chingo de lata – iHIJOS DE SU MADRE! iAHORITA VAN A VER!
29. Cute toddlers dancing with their tios on the dance floor.
30. The dreaded “waltz portion” of the reception where the Quinceañera dances choreographed routines with her damas and chambelanes.
31. Forced traditions like the father awkwardly changing the Quinceanera's high heels to signify the “transition into womanhood.”
32. You’ll see the Quinceañera awkwardly lifted in the air because why the fuck not.
33. The part of the night where EVERY SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER waltzes with the Quinceañera.
34. A “baile sorpresa” where the Quinceañera gets all "sexy" and dances to Pitbull or Bachata.
35. Quinceañeras who are just OVER IT.
36. The comadres who like to talk shit and say their daughter's Quinceañera was better.
37. Tears in everyone’s eyes when the parents deliver the "thank you" speech to their daughter.
