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49 Thoughts You Have When You Go To Catholic Midnight Mass On Christmas

A conversation with Jesus Christ.

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1. It's so... crowded.

2. Hopefully we can find a seat.

3. There are no seats left.

4. This is the worst.

5. I guess I'll just stand and lean against this wall.

6. Would Jesus reeeeeeeeally want us here at midnight?

7. I don't think he would mind if we showed up at noon... on his birthday.

8. Noon seems like a more reasonable hour.

9. I'm sleepy.

10. I hope Jesus isn't listening to what I'm thinking right now.



13. ...

14. I totally forgot to drink some coffee...

15. What if I left and got some?

16. Jesus, would you be angry if I left and got some coffee?

17. Fine. I won't go.

18. I'll just stand here for an hour and a half.

19. I hear some Midnight Masses go on for two hours.

20. That's crazy.

21. Jesus, don't you think that's a little bit crazy?

22. I like how the church is decked out for Christmas.

23. They really go out for your birthday.

24. Just OK? If they had this year-round, I'd totally come to church more often.

25. I mean — I'm not saying that church is boring or anything—

26. WAIT!

27. I take that back. My bad.

28. Is it bad that I'm not even listening to the priest?

29. My eyes are getting weary.

30. Maybe I could just rest them for a bit.

31. I won't be going to sleep.

32. I'll just be resting my eyes.

33. I will not fall... asleep.

34. Whoa! Sorry.

35. I seemed to have dozed off for a bit...

36. After all it's 1:20 in the morning.

37. Wait, are they doing the Communion wafers now?


39. Because I'm Catholic. And you're supposed to go to church at midnight on Christmas. Right?

40. I'm a bad Catholic, Jesus. Sorry.

41. I'd rather be home and sleeping, tbh.

42. But it's your birthday, Jesus.

43. ...

44. Jesus?

45. I'm sorry, Jesus.

46. I think I'm gonna go home and sleep.

47. Merry Christmas?

48. Are we cool?

49. K.