49 Thoughts You Have When You Go To Catholic Midnight Mass On Christmas

A conversation with Jesus Christ.

Press play, then continue…

1. It’s so… crowded.
2. Hopefully we can find a seat.
3. There are no seats left.
4. This is the worst.
5. I guess I’ll just stand and lean against this wall.
6. Would Jesus reeeeeeeeally want us here at midnight?
7. I don’t think he would mind if we showed up at noon… on his birthday.
8. Noon seems like a more reasonable hour.
9. I’m sleepy.
10. I hope Jesus isn’t listening to what I’m thinking right now.


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13. …
14. I totally forgot to drink some coffee…
15. What if I left and got some?
16. Jesus, would you be angry if I left and got some coffee?

17. Fine. I won’t go.
18. I’ll just stand here for an hour and a half.
19. I hear some Midnight Masses go on for two hours.
20. That’s crazy.
21. Jesus, don’t you think that’s a little bit crazy?

22. I like how the church is decked out for Christmas.
23. They really go out for your birthday.

24. Just OK? If they had this year-round, I’d totally come to church more often.
25. I mean — I’m not saying that church is boring or anything—
26. WAIT!

27. I take that back. My bad.

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28. Is it bad that I’m not even listening to the priest?
29. My eyes are getting weary.
30. Maybe I could just rest them for a bit.
31. I won’t be going to sleep.
32. I’ll just be resting my eyes.
33. I will not fall… asleep.


34. Whoa! Sorry.
35. I seemed to have dozed off for a bit…
36. After all it’s 1:20 in the morning.
37. Wait, are they doing the Communion wafers now?

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39. Because I’m Catholic. And you’re supposed to go to church at midnight on Christmas. Right?

40. I’m a bad Catholic, Jesus. Sorry.
41. I’d rather be home and sleeping, tbh.

42. But it’s your birthday, Jesus.
43. …
44. Jesus?

Norberto Briceño

45. I’m sorry, Jesus.

46. I think I’m gonna go home and sleep.
47. Merry Christmas?

48. Are we cool?

49. K.

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