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49 Thoughts You Have When You Go To Catholic Midnight Mass On Christmas

A conversation with Jesus Christ.

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1. It's so... crowded.

2. Hopefully we can find a seat.

3. There are no seats left.

4. This is the worst.

5. I guess I'll just stand and lean against this wall.

6. Would Jesus reeeeeeeeally want us here at midnight?

7. I don't think he would mind if we showed up at noon... on his birthday.

8. Noon seems like a more reasonable hour.

9. I'm sleepy.

10. I hope Jesus isn't listening to what I'm thinking right now.

11. HOLY SHI-

12. SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS!

13. ...

14. I totally forgot to drink some coffee...

15. What if I left and got some?

16. Jesus, would you be angry if I left and got some coffee?

17. Fine. I won't go.

18. I'll just stand here for an hour and a half.

19. I hear some Midnight Masses go on for two hours.

20. That's crazy.

21. Jesus, don't you think that's a little bit crazy?

22. I like how the church is decked out for Christmas.

23. They really go out for your birthday.

24. Just OK? If they had this year-round, I'd totally come to church more often.

25. I mean — I'm not saying that church is boring or anything—

26. WAIT!

27. I take that back. My bad.

28. Is it bad that I'm not even listening to the priest?

29. My eyes are getting weary.

30. Maybe I could just rest them for a bit.

31. I won't be going to sleep.

32. I'll just be resting my eyes.

33. I will not fall... asleep.

34. Whoa! Sorry.

35. I seemed to have dozed off for a bit...

36. After all it's 1:20 in the morning.

37. Wait, are they doing the Communion wafers now?

38. YES! MASS IS ALMOST OVER!

39. Because I'm Catholic. And you're supposed to go to church at midnight on Christmas. Right?

40. I'm a bad Catholic, Jesus. Sorry.

41. I'd rather be home and sleeping, tbh.

42. But it's your birthday, Jesus.

43. ...

44. Jesus?

45. I'm sorry, Jesus.

46. I think I'm gonna go home and sleep.

47. Merry Christmas?

48. Are we cool?

49. K.

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