As an experiment we – Justin and Norberto, two BuzzFeed writers – decided to step out of our comfort zones and take a dive into what can only be described as the Nicholas Sparks zone. There, we would face something neither of us were super familiar with: Zac Efron in a melodrama.
Starring Efron and Taylor Schilling, The Lucky One (2012) is based on the best-selling Nicholas Sparks novel of the same name. Zac plays a marine who finds a photo of a woman (Schilling) while in combat in Afghanistan. After escaping death multiple times, he believes the photo actually saved his life. Upon returning home, Zac sets out to find the woman in the photo.
Spoiler: This is one of the worst movies ever.
Justin Abarca: This is like Zero Dark Thirty.
Norberto Briceño: This doesn’t look like a Nicholas Sparks novel.
JA: Zac’s gonna be the lucky one to make it out alive of this gun battle.
NB: This is what it looks like when Zac plays around with a machine gun.
JA: Nobody went to pick him up?
JA: Ten minutes of exposition. Could’ve been reduced. Why did he take the dog?
NB: Probably to make the audience like him. “Look he has a dog! This is who you’re supposed to like!”
NB: Wait, he found the girl already?
JA: It’s the girl from Orange is the New Black!
JA: Zac Efron will forever look 16.
NB: Zac Efron has an easy life. He found the girl he’s looking for and got offered a job he wasn’t even asking for. Zac Efron looks “harmless” because he’s white. What if Zac Efron was black? Would this be the same movie?
JA: Hey! It’s Stan from Mad Men
NB: Why is Stan from Mad Men being mean to Zac?
JA: Oh, Stan from Mad Men is Beth’s ex-husband.
NB: That’s why he’s being a prick.
NB: There are a lot of white people in this movie.
JA: It’s Louisiana. There are no P.O.C.
NB: Zac looks kinda creepy.
NB: Blythe looks good.
JA: Very pretty.
NB: Never ages.
BOTH: ::Awkward chuckle::
NB: Beth went from screaming to laughing to crying and Zac never said a word. He’s completely useless.
JA: That book in the wall in is very Pinterest-y.
JA: More like a dogtage.
BOTH: ::Awkward chuckle::
JA: The pot is a metaphor for masturbation.
JA: Zac Efron was cockblocked by electricity.
NB: Did they really need to get under the shower head?
Both: ::awkward chuckle::
NB: I still don’t get why the photo is such a big deal. Stan is absolutely right about Zac. He is a stalker.
JA: He is dangerous.
NB: That was awesome.
NB: (RE: Kid) That’s what you get.
BOTH: OH SHIT!
JA: Is Stan dead!? What happened?
NB: I think he’s dead. The kid killed Stan.
JA: Kid will grow up to be a serial killer.
NB: Stan was a hero. He didn’t need to die. That kid is an asshole.
NB: This is taking way longer than it should.
JA: Why is she dressed like a ghost?
NB: Beth and Zac have no chemistry.
JA: There is no reason to shoot this film in Louisiana other than the tax benefits.
- And no, people aren't drilling headphone jacks into their new iPhone 7's 📱❌