25 Thoughts You Have When Doing Last-Minute Christmas Shopping At A Mall
Don't do it. For the love of God, just don't!
After spending three hours trying to find parking: "WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I FIND PARKING?! FML!!!"
"OMG. WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE?!"
Being at a mall, shopping for last minute gifts, will make you lose all faith in humanity.
For those without kids: "I am never having kids. EVER."
For those with kids: "Why did I bring the kids? WHY DID I HAVE KIDS?!"
When you've been waiting in line to pay for the last 30 minutes: "I should've used Amazon."
"Wait – 50 fucking dollars for a toaster?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!"
"What if we don't do Christmas this year? Would that really be the worst thing in the world?"
"What if I give my family love this year instead of gifts."
"I haven't bought my S.O. their present yet.........................."
"My arms are getting tired."
"So are my legs."
You know what? I might just be out of shape... :(
"I kinda want a Cinnabon."
"I wonder who's singing this version of 12 Days of Christmas."
"Note to self: If you ever have a baby, don't bring them to the mall."
I mean, just... look at them.
"I kinda feel like I need to get Starbucks because the red cup would blend into this Christmas shopping experience..."
"That's a huge fucking line! FUCK IT!"
"OK. How many times are they going to play "12 Days of Christmas"?"
"Note to self: Don't look at your bank statement for the next two weeks unless you want to get your heart broken."
"I wish I could buy everyone a gift card. But then it looks like I made no effort at all."
"I can't seem to find a good gift for this person. It's totally OK to buy them a bottle of Jack Daniels. Right?"
"What should I get my parents? What are my parents into? Oh my God, I don't know my parents at all!"
"I have a headache. A FUCKING HEADACHE! WHY AM I STRESSIN'? CHRISTMAS SHOULD NOT BE THIS STRESSFUL! I STILL HAVE TO COOK!"
"You know what I need?"
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