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22 Things All Stage Actors Know To Be True


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3. When having free time is a thing of the past.

5. When you mess up and the stage manager looks at you like this.

7. When you see a bunch of guns and knives laid out on a table backstage but you can't touch them.

Me: "Oooh! A PROP GUN!"

Stage Manager: "Touch it and I will literally kill you... LITERALLY. KILL. YOU."

8. When opening night is a couple of weeks away and you're still not off-book.


Director: "We open in two weeks."

Me: "I know... It's just that... I just need to hold the script. LET ME HOLD THE SCRIPT!!!"


11. And you start drinking everything that will keep you healthy and sane.

13. When you're in school and you've got other priorities besides theater.

15. When you don't say thank you to the stage manager after they call five.

I called 5 and no one thanked me. #TheaterProblems

16. When you find used baby wipes all over the place.

19. When a baby is crying in the middle of your page-long monologue.

20. When your character is mainly in the first act of the show.

22. ...until you're ready to get back to audition for a new show.