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22 Things All Stage Actors Know To Be True


1. When you're waiting for the cast list and you're pretty much a total wreck.


2. And then the cast list comes out and your name is on it.


3. When having free time is a thing of the past.

4. When you're rehearsing and the director tells you, "That was good!"

Paramount Pictures

Me: "...Thanks!"


5. When you mess up and the stage manager looks at you like this.

6. When someone in the cast says "Macbeth" on stage.

Sony BMG

Sorry... "Scottish Play."

7. When you see a bunch of guns and knives laid out on a table backstage but you can't touch them.

8. When opening night is a couple of weeks away and you're still not off-book.


Director: "We open in two weeks."

Me: "I know... It's just that... I just need to hold the script. LET ME HOLD THE SCRIPT!!!"

9. And once you're off-book, you keep shouting "LINE" every five seconds.


Director: "We open in a week."

Me: "I know! It's just — LINE!"

10. When you're chillin' in the green room and a cast member starts having a coughing fit.


11. And you start drinking everything that will keep you healthy and sane.

12. When tech week completely destroys your health.

20th Century Fox

13. When you're in school and you've got other priorities besides theater.

14. When you do the first run-through of the show and everything goes STRAIGHT TO HELL.

Director: "That was awful."

Cast: :(

15. When you don't say thank you to the stage manager after they call five.

I called 5 and no one thanked me. #TheaterProblems

16. When you find used baby wipes all over the place.

17. When you can hear your friends cheering LOUDLY in the audience every time you come on stage.

Universal Pictures
Universal Pictures

18. And even when you're fully concentrated on the scene, a small part of you is like:


19. When a baby is crying in the middle of your page-long monologue.

20. When your character is mainly in the first act of the show.

21. And finally, when you feel sad and empty after the show's run is over...

22. ...until you're ready to get back to audition for a new show.

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