18 Things Latinos Who Can't Dance Will Totally Understand
"MOVE YOUR HIPS!" —Your entire family
You'll go to family gatherings and you'll have your 5,672 family members trying to teach you how to salsa:
You cannot to this day figure out how to dance cumbia:
You'll see your abuelito pull out some crazy-ass dance moves even though he's 100 years old...and he'll put you to shame:
Your parents will tear up the dance floor...
...and you'll be wondering how you didn't acquire those rhythmic genes:
Non-Latinos will always ask you, "So, where can I find a good Salsa bar?" and all you'll be thinking about is this:
And they will always try showing you their salsa dance moves and they'll ask, "Am I doing it right?" To which you respond:
You dread going to any family event with a sonidero because you will be inevitably dragged onto the dance floor:
If you were a chambelan or dama at a Quinceañera, you never danced. You just sluggishly moved your weight from one foot to another with absolutely no concept of rhythm:
Your mom would be like, "Saca a tu prima a bailar" and you'd immediately find a bomb shelter to hide in for the rest of your life:
You never know when to do "the spin":
And once you finally do "the spin," you'll keep doing it because you really don't know what to do next:
Night clubs are a place where you suffer a cruel and unusual death via awkwardness:
You'll be dancing reggaeton and a guy starts moving behind you expecting you to grind on him but you're like, "ESSSCUSE ME?!?!?!?!":
Or a girl starts grinding on you and you have absolutely no idea what to do with your hands:
You'll hear this more than a few times:
The DJ will switch between bachata, salsa, merengue, and you'll be confused about how you should move...
...so you will use the same dance move for pretty much every song the DJ plays:
Even though you may not know how to dance, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself on the dance floor, so don't mind your family's side eyes and your friends' cringed faces...
...you do you, boo.
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