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44 Things Your Mexican Mom Would Never Say

"I'm sorry."

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1. Yes.

2. I'm sorry.

3. Por favor.

4. Sure, mijo... Your girlfriend can totally stay over.

5. Can she sleep in the same bed with you? Absolutely.

6. You don't need to go to church if you don't want to.

7. Mijo... if you want to move out of this house when you're 18, we will support your decision.

8. You don't like nopales? Well then, I'll just have to make you something else.

9. Wow... You look like you're in perfect shape and super healthy.

10. ¿No te gustan los frijoles? OK. Let's go to McDonald's.

11. You never want to get married? That's OK.

12. You never want to have kids? That's OK.

13. Taco Bell makes great traditional Mexican food.

14. I'm so happy for my comadre.

15. You're bored? Let's find a fun activity for you to do.

16. Are you crying? Now I feel bad about myself.

17. Your tears have made me realize that I should probably not use la chancla as a disciplinary device.


18. You made a good point, mijo. You have won this argument.

19. You can come home as late as you want.

20. I trust you.

21. There is no such thing as el cucuy.

22. It's OK if you don't say hello to everyone.

23. Mija... Me encanta tu TATTOO!!!

24. Throw away that plastic container. We'll never need it.

25. Did you just call me a pendeja? That's OK. I understand that you're angry and you have the right to express yourself.

26. I have never watched a telenovela...ever.


28. Mija, are you wearing that super short skirt to the club? ¡ME ENCANTA!

29. You're too tired to do el quehacer? Take a nap while I do them for you.

30. It's OK to cry.

31. Feelings are important.

32. I won't use the belt. Instead, I'm gonna put you in timeout for 10 whole minutes.

33. Corporal punishment NEVER works.

34. We ran out of tortillas.

35. You don't want to talk to your aunt in Mexico who you've never even met? That's OK. I get that it might be a little awkward.

36. You have outsmarted me once again!

37. Did someone knock on the door? Well, let's open up and see who it is!

38. Team sports is about having fun and getting some exercise.

39. We're not having leftovers.

40. Here, mijo... Have a quarter for the vending machine.

41. Don't get a job, mijo... I'll take care of you.

42. You wanna go to Disneyland? ¡PUES VAMOS!

43. Mijo...let's sit down and calmly talk about your bad behavior.

44. You're right.


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