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    14 Fabulous Facts About Being A Thick-Hipped Chick

    Damn, it feels good to be a modern-day Venus.

    1. Your strut game is mean as hell.

    You're just like, BOOM! BADOW! Take that! All over the damn place.

    2. So mean, in fact, that when nine polite "excuse me!"s fail, your luscious leg toppers are the ones to keep things moving.

    Yes, I have big, shapely hips. They also come in real handy when tourists can't GTHOTW so I can cross the street. #NYC

    Not to endorse violence or anything. That's just your natural stride, right?

    I would never hit a big kid who was mean to my 4 y/o on the playground. But I might forget how wide my hips are when I walk past them. #SAHM

    3. If you #loveyourlines, there's even more to embrace.

    4. And speaking of embracing, studies say big-hipped women have more sex. / Via

    They're not called baby-makin' hips for nothing.

    5. Also, they make it easier to multitask while carrying your baby (whether it's the kind that resulted from all that sex or not)...

    6. ... or anything else, really.

    Advantage of having big hips: I can more easily carry my pchem book by resting it on my hips like it's a child. #bigred #forscience

    7. And similarly convenient is using them to bump ovens, cabinets, and other doors shut.

    8. They're an athlete's dream, too.

    9. And in some cultures, your shape is referred to as a "guitar body."

    Capitol Records / Via

    Since bodies and musical instruments are two of the most beautiful things in existence, we'd consider that a win. (And if you didn't know that one before, now you know. With this knowledge, go forth and slay.)

    10. In fact, your shape is so stunning, women throughout history have sought to emulate it through creative tailoring.

    "Queen Elizabeth I (The Ditchley Portrait)," by Marcus Gheeraerts the Younger

    See: the farthingale, the peplum, basically anything from the New Look movement.

    Not to mention actual underwear with side cutlets.

    11. But for you, naturally, it's like you can't lose with any silhouette.

    Craig Barritt / Getty Images
    Jason Merritt / Getty Images

    12. And high-waisted jeans? They were made for you.

    13. Seriously, those things are downright hypnotizing.

    "Don't Tell Anyone" / Via

    You are getting very, veeeeeery sexy.

    14. You know what, though? You don't need to trick nobody into nothin'.

    Shakira always forces me to be honest with my hips, and you know what? I appreciate you Shakira. Keeping me accountable


    Shakira at Montpellier Arena / Via

    Stay hippy, my friends!