19 Of Your Most Horrifying Thanksgiving Family Drama Stories
Put away the carving knife, y'all.
1. The year Murphy's law was 100% proven.
"In the span of four hours, my mom went into labor, the turkey caught fire, the dishwasher flooded the entire kitchen, and the person making the stuffing didn't know you were supposed to cook the sausage before putting it into the stuffing, so we all ate raw meat." Submitted by Ktsjo411
2. What skin did you want, again?
"One year, two of my aunts had a heated argument over who wanted the last bit of turkey skin more. Long story short, one stabbed the other in the hand with a carving knife and had to leave to be treated at the hospital. They're cool now, though." Submitted by taylorw4ccb59fca
3. Blood, lawn poop, and tears.
"One of my uncles got incredibly drunk and decided to make a speech. He proceeded to grade each of his brothers' wives, listing all of their positive and negative attributes. He then turned to my stepmother, who is married to his twin brother, and told her he hated her taking his brother away. This started a huge brawl, which resulted in bloody noses, a broken arm, and my baby cousin pooping on the front lawn because he couldn't get inside to use the bathroom." Submitted by mjimenez5991
4. The potato purist.
"One year my dad flipped out on my sister for adding cheese to the mashed potatoes to the point where he locked himself in his room for the majority of the afternoon." Submitted by Michelle L. Mayer, Facebook
5. Vampiric vitriol.
"Our whole family got into a screaming fight about the validity of the Twilight series, which somehow brought up every issue we have ever had with one another. It ended with half of my family storming out and a mutual decision that we shouldn't spend too much time together." Submitted by Paige Sanford, Facebook
6. Ratch 'n' sniff.
"My cousin thought her husband was cheating on her with my other cousin and started smelling his underwear in front of the whole family." Submitted by jordand4aa2934b1
7. The surprise sibling.
"My cousin had someone walk up to him a few days before Thanksgiving and claim to be his brother. He then brought New Brother, as we called him, and New Brother's fiancé, to Thanksgiving unannounced. Apparently New Brother's mom had kept her son a secret from my uncle for 25 years because she knew he had a tendency to not be the greatest dad, so New Brother had to be introduced and explained to 40 people at Thanksgiving." Submitted by corineg2
8. The ring ruse.
"My grandma accused my aunt of stealing her wedding ring and threatened to call the police on her. We found out my grandma planted her wedding ring in my aunt's purse when she admitted it this past Thanksgiving." Submitted by nataliep4c69eaf6d
9. DON'T YOU TAINT THAT BLESSED FOOD.
"One year my aunt and my dad got into a fight after he ripped off his leg hair and put it on her pie while she wasn't paying attention." Submitted by superwholocket
10. That's not how that works.
"My sister-in-law told my husband and I that if we just prayed hard enough, we would no longer be gay." Submitted by mattm41c4aaf31
"My family had a Thanksgiving dinner. Our family friends came over, got into a fight, and decided to get a divorce. The only other time they had come over was for Christmas, when our table caught fire. I think that's why we stopped inviting them for holidays." Submitted by magdelenamh
12. Now THAT'S served cold.
"One Thanksgiving, my sister brought a microwave meal because she didn't want to have to endure my grandmother's cooking." Submitted by emilyelizabeths415d805b9
13. The real dark side (of meat).
"My eccentric great aunt took a HUGE bite of steak and proceeded to choke on it. My mother, a nurse, was running around the kitchen trying to Heimlich maneuver her. My aunt was calling 911. I was silently freaking out and texting my friends. My dad and uncle did not miss a bite of their dinner. My mom got the steak out, and when the paramedics finally came, my great aunt was sitting on the piano bench having a smoke." Submitted by maryrosehefner
14. Really, guys?
"My dad and uncle got in a fistfight once because my cousin told me I had no friends. They were punching and tackling each other on the floor. I was 10." Submitted by gabriellefesta21
15. Happy Turkey Gay — I mean...
"I came out as lesbian but I used the term 'gay,' to which my grandma yelled, 'GIRLS CAN'T BE GAY!' Which started a 10-minute argument between my grandma and grandpa before I could step in and say something." Submitted by Musicjp1128
16. Actually, you can call me whatever.
"My first Thanksgiving with my husband when we were dating, my now-mother-in-law called me by his ex-girlfriend's name, so I excused myself and took a moment to get my shit together. I was fine and was going to brush it off, but my sister-in-law walked in and saw me crying, then went and told her mom she made me cry. Mom ended up storming out and took ALL the leftovers with her. No leftovers was the worst part about the whole thing." Submitted by tcastillos101
17. A Thanksgiving bun in the oven.
"About six years ago, my brother brought his girlfriend of one month to Thanksgiving. We had all sat down to eat (grandparents, young cousins, about 25 people) and he announces that she is pregnant and they're getting married. I have a very loud family, and you could have heard a pin drop. Then my cousin (who was 3 at the time) yells, 'Ewwww, they made sex! That's gross!!!' I thought my grandpa was going to have a heart attack." Submitted by aliciah4aed4edae
18. Shattered (gl)ass.
"When I was 19, my stepdad's sister had Thanksgiving at her house. Before dinner, she started pounding beers and taking painkillers, then flipped out and threw the 26-pound turkey through the living room picture window. The police showed up, and no one got to eat. Best Turkey Day ever!" Submitted by jeril418c30cc0
19. The saucy senior.
"My grandma got shitfaced, threw up on my dad's shoes, and then passed out on my parents' bed. By far my most memorable Thanksgiving." Submitted by queenbea