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    15 Of The Best Ways To Actually Dress Your Body Type

    A comprehensive guide to looking your tastiest.

    by ,

    Pear

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Don't bother hiding your monstrous bottom half with a giant bag β€” what are you, pregnant Kerry Washington filming Season 3 of Scandal? Instead, try a prosciutto wrap accessorized with some beautifully marbled blue cheese touches.

    Apple

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    No, an optical illusion is not the answer; your best course of action is to simply keep it juicy.

    Pizza

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Plain or sourdough, sausage or pepperoni, Sicilian or grandma... your scrumptiousness defies just one style. I'll β€” I mean, you should β€” try them all.

    Calzone

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    As delectable as pizza, but a little more mysterious. You're like one of those trench-coat-and-lingerie-wearing movie tropes, where the good stuff is just beneath the surface.

    Durian Fruit

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Your tough exterior makes you a natural "bad girl." Play up those spikes with some leather and combat boots, Mad Max style.

    Onion

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Unless you're comfortable baring all, layers will be key for you. Try an Oxford shirt and cardigan over your tank top, or long johns under your jeans. Also, several pairs of underpants.

    Ramen Burger

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    You've got multiple great qualities. Now please, stop trying so hard.

    Bialy

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Are you an unfinished onion bagel? A slightly depressed onion roll? A savory Danish? Sometimes it's less about knowing what to wear, and more about figuring out who you are.

    Cilantro

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Doesn't matter what you wear β€” some people will love you, and some people will hate you.* And some people will think you taste like soap.

    Thanksgiving Turkey

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Your inside is what's important, though your outside is great too. Either way, like ballet flats or a little black dress, you're classic.

    Poached Egg

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    The only way for you to safely get dressed is to bathe in something fragrant, then twirl your way into an ensemble. Otherwise, you certainly won't be what the magazines call "put together."

    Bacon

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Wear an invisibility cloak. As the most magnificent food on the planet, you are in grave danger at all times.

    (Chocolate-Covered) Strawberry

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Break out of your shell; you're perfect just the way you are.*

    Croissant

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    For the people who pronounce your name with a "W" and without a "T," a striped top and beret. For the people who pronounce you like they're actually from Connecticut, ham and cheese is fine.

    Quinoa

    Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    Name necklace. One of those gold cursive name necklaces, so that I stop confusing you for cous cous all the time.

    *These are the most common facts about bodies. You just keep doing your thing.