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15 Of The Best Ways To Actually Dress Your Body Type

A comprehensive guide to looking your tastiest.

Pear

Don't bother hiding your monstrous bottom half with a giant bag — what are you, pregnant Kerry Washington filming Season 3 of Scandal? Instead, try a prosciutto wrap accessorized with some beautifully marbled blue cheese touches.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Don't bother hiding your monstrous bottom half with a giant bag — what are you, pregnant Kerry Washington filming Season 3 of Scandal? Instead, try a prosciutto wrap accessorized with some beautifully marbled blue cheese touches.

Apple

No, an optical illusion is not the answer; your best course of action is to simply keep it juicy.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

No, an optical illusion is not the answer; your best course of action is to simply keep it juicy.

Pizza

Plain or sourdough, sausage or pepperoni, Sicilian or grandma... your scrumptiousness defies just one style. I'll — I mean, you should — try them all.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Plain or sourdough, sausage or pepperoni, Sicilian or grandma... your scrumptiousness defies just one style. I'll — I mean, you should — try them all.

Calzone

As delectable as pizza, but a little more mysterious. You're like one of those trench-coat-and-lingerie-wearing movie tropes, where the good stuff is just beneath the surface.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

As delectable as pizza, but a little more mysterious. You're like one of those trench-coat-and-lingerie-wearing movie tropes, where the good stuff is just beneath the surface.

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Durian Fruit

Your tough exterior makes you a natural "bad girl." Play up those spikes with some leather and combat boots, Mad Max style.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Your tough exterior makes you a natural "bad girl." Play up those spikes with some leather and combat boots, Mad Max style.

Onion

Unless you're comfortable baring all, layers will be key for you. Try an Oxford shirt and cardigan over your tank top, or long johns under your jeans. Also, several pairs of underpants.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Unless you're comfortable baring all, layers will be key for you. Try an Oxford shirt and cardigan over your tank top, or long johns under your jeans. Also, several pairs of underpants.

Ramen Burger

You've got multiple great qualities. Now please, stop trying so hard.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

You've got multiple great qualities. Now please, stop trying so hard.

Bialy

Are you an unfinished onion bagel? A slightly depressed onion roll? A savory Danish? Sometimes it's less about knowing what to wear, and more about figuring out who you are.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Are you an unfinished onion bagel? A slightly depressed onion roll? A savory Danish? Sometimes it's less about knowing what to wear, and more about figuring out who you are.

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Cilantro

Doesn't matter what you wear — some people will love you, and some people will hate you.* And some people will think you taste like soap.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Doesn't matter what you wear — some people will love you, and some people will hate you.* And some people will think you taste like soap.

Thanksgiving Turkey

Your inside is what's important, though your outside is great too. Either way, like ballet flats or a little black dress, you're classic.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Your inside is what's important, though your outside is great too. Either way, like ballet flats or a little black dress, you're classic.

Poached Egg

The only way for you to safely get dressed is to bathe in something fragrant, then twirl your way into an ensemble. Otherwise, you certainly won't be what the magazines call "put together."
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

The only way for you to safely get dressed is to bathe in something fragrant, then twirl your way into an ensemble. Otherwise, you certainly won't be what the magazines call "put together."

Bacon

Wear an invisibility cloak. As the most magnificent food on the planet, you are in grave danger at all times.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Wear an invisibility cloak. As the most magnificent food on the planet, you are in grave danger at all times.

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(Chocolate-Covered) Strawberry

Break out of your shell; you're perfect just the way you are.*
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Break out of your shell; you're perfect just the way you are.*

Croissant

For the people who pronounce your name with a "W" and without a "T," a striped top and beret. For the people who pronounce you like they're actually from Connecticut, ham and cheese is fine.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

For the people who pronounce your name with a "W" and without a "T," a striped top and beret. For the people who pronounce you like they're actually from Connecticut, ham and cheese is fine.

Quinoa

Name necklace. One of those gold cursive name necklaces, so that I stop confusing you for cous cous all the time.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Name necklace. One of those gold cursive name necklaces, so that I stop confusing you for cous cous all the time.

*These are the most common facts about bodies. You just keep doing your thing.

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