2. Your initial alarm in the morning is kiiiiind of a joke.
You didn’t think I’d actually get up on the first 12 snoozes, did you? Oh, you did? That’s so sweet.
6. So you’re always a sweaty mess when you arrive.
Because, you know, that’s what happens when you run 15 blocks to your 9 a.m. meeting.
9. But if they ask to move them earlier, the answer is always no.
10. And when the plans are at your place, god help people who show up early.
When I said 7 p.m., I meant 7:30, not 6:55.
11. It’s impossible to convince anyone how responsible you are, except for this ooooone little thing…
13. Your friends have started telling you events are earlier than they really are, figuring that will get you to them sort of on time.
14. And they have definitely got jokes.
(But you go with it, ‘cause you kind of deserve the grief.)