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What Kind Of Nut Are You?

Everyone is a kind of nut. For example, I'm a pistachio, nice to meet you. But what kind of nut are you? Only one way to find out: Take my quiz. Please!

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  1. What is your biggest fear about yourself? You know, the kind that inspires crippling anxiety, the root of your self-doubt—the person you know you aren't but afraid you are.
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    you think you're doing well, but you're actually making a giant fool out of yourself. You're a fraud.
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    You think you're so smart, but you're actually an idiot.
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    Nobody cares about you. Nobody knows who you are. Nobody thinks you're important. Nobody thinks of you at all.
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    You're a really bad person. Immoral. Selfish. Disgusting.
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    You're weak. You're ineffective. You're a failure.
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    You're ordinary, simple, dull, un-cultured.
  2. Who is your ideal partner (in the sexual/companionate way)?
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    Someone who appreciates your ambition and your genius, but is different from you. someone who challenges you.
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    Someone who's easy to be around, but stays out of your way as you pursue bigger plans, without feeling too neglected or clingy. This person also understands who you truly are, and loves you for it.
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    Someone who is as quiet and un-opinionated as they are exceptionally beautiful.
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    Someone who is exactly like you.
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    Your partner in crime, not real crimes though—unless they are cool crimes, like stealing from evil corporations, vandalism, art heists, having intercourse in public.
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    Someone who is just as immaculate, exceptional and graceful as you are.
  3. What is your dream job?
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    President of the United States
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    CEO of your own company
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    Novelist
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    Professor / scholar / prominent intellectual
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    Part-time supermodel, part-time inventor, full-time socialite
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    A-List celebrity, of any kind, as long as it's A-list
  4. What will be the exact circumstances of your death?
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    The day before your 92nd birthday. You pass on peacefully in your sleep. You are without pain, without regret, with a tiny little bit of sin. You were ready.
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    You are 55 years, 6 weeks, 2 days old. Stuck in the monotony of middle age and mourning your youth, you are looking for excitement. You want to feel alive. You die in a jet-ski accident.
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    It was supposed to be a routine facelift. Anything a normal 68-year-old had done before, and would do again. It was your third one for god's sake! Nothing should've gone wrong. But as the plastic surgeon was peeling your face off, ISIS attacked the hospital and you, along with everyone else in there, died.
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    You never wanted an extraordinary death, so congratulations, your situation is fairly ordinary. You get brain cancer and you die, age 78.
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    In the midst of intercourse. Age 69. Exactly the way you wanted. Legendary, baby.
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    It took 52 years, but you've finally done it: assumed authoritarian rule over your nation! You are a ruthless leader, but in your mind, excessively fair. Not everyone sees it that way—so you are assassinated. Is it better to be loved or feared? THat was the question you grappled with your entire life. Now you know. But it's too late.
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