I don't care about your little day-to-day B.S. posts. I'm not here to be Mr. Social Butterfly. If you have something valid to say then say it. Otherwise, leave me alone. Don't bug me with your updates and trivial bullshit. Also, if you can't spell and type correctly, then bugger off. I've no patience for fools, and less patience for fools who can't express themselves clearly. I'm not looking for run-of-the-mill friends. I'm looking for exceptional, interesting people, and from where I'm standing there don't seem to be many of them on this planet. If you watch reality shows and listen to pop music, then don't bother me. If you're a "believer" and insist that gods, magick, ghosts, angels, or demons are real, then I've no interest in you or your nuckfuttery. If your I.Q. is south of 110, then I don't need you in my life. If you're male, just go the hell away. I don't like other males. Most of you just cause me to be embarrassed by my own gender. If you're female, and you own anything that says "The North Face" on it, then you can keep on walking. I'm not interested, Barbie doll. If you're a fan of Kanye West, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, or the Black Eyed Peas, kindly drink a bottle of Drano and spare me your company. Maybe you're not getting it, yet: I don't like mundane, stupid, mass-appeal bullshit or the mundane, stupid, easily-enthralled knuckle-draggers that drag down the collective I.Q. of our species. So really, I'm not here for friends, family, or social connections. I'm here because I need a stupid Facebook account to "like" things, so I can possibly win free stuff (since every company's annoying marketing departments have made Facebook the de facto method of contest entry. Thanks, MORONS.) and because there might be the slimmest, slightest chance that a devastatingly intelligent, strong, witty, independent, introverted, unique woman is out there, and that she might bulldoze past my crunchy outer wall of curmudgeonly banter to find my gooey, pleasant, almond-flavored center (not unlike cyanide fondant). What I'm saying is that I loathe the very concept of Facebook and socializing with imbeciles, and that I'm only here because I want to win prizes and potentially get laid/find a soulmate.* * - when I say "soul" I do not refer to a mythical energy force/spirit that lives inside people, but the sense of self-awareness provided by neural activity in the frontal lobe. Unfortunately, "soul" is the only single word in English that can convey the meaning in any poetic sense. Anyone who takes "soul" literally is a buffoon, and should be shot out of a cannon, through hoops made of flaming lard, and finally deposited into a live volcano where they can contemplate their fate and comfort themselves with their belief that this is not the end, but merely an agonizing, torturous, white-hot molten doorway to the next life. IN SUMMARY: Unless you're patient enough to have read everything I've just written, smart enough to comprehend it all, have a sense of humor dark enough to understand when I'm kidding and when I'm serious, and clever enough to figure out that sometimes it's both things at once, you should probably turn right around and find a nice dimwit to hang out with, because I'm not your kind of people, and you most certainly are not mine. And yes, I'm always this loquacious, bombastic, egotistical and curmudgeonly. If I were a science fiction character, I'd be the Sixth Doctor. (And if you get that, you're off to a good start.)
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