1. Every conversation begins with "The last time I saw you..."
"...you were this tall."
"...you were still in diapers."
"...you had braces and glasses."
"...[pretty much any arbitrary anecdote associated with growing up]."
Bright side is, if you're in doubt about how to start a conversation with a relative you hardly know, this simple clause is in your arsenal.
2. ...and eventually leads up to a series of difficult life questions.
Mental preparation is key! A barrage of life-reflecting questions will be fired at will. You have been warned.
3. The coordinating family T-shirt: reunion edition.
You know, just in case any other attire-coordinating family wanders onto the party premises and challenges you to a reunion-off.
4. Sitting through someone trying to explain how they are related to you.
Can we just refer to each other as cousins and call it a day?
5. The retelling of many awkward and embarrassing stories.
Yeah... these stories were just buried in the dark recesses of your mind for no reason at all.
-___-
6. The mandatory store run.
No matter the amount of preparation, at some point during the party, the grocery store run becomes an inevitability.
7. Accidentally calling one cousin by another cousin's name.
It's an even bigger crime when they clearly remember your name.
8. Pinched cheeks. Many, many pinched cheeks.
Age serves no protection to this cheek attack. As long as there is someone older at this party, be prepared for your cheeks to have a target for pinchers.
9. Shock and awe over a fellow family member's transformation.
Diet, exercise, and... puberty do wonders.
10. Food on food on food.
If food is your happy place, then this is the place to be! Leftovers for days!
11. And finally... the tranquil sounds of the family picture.
The pageantry of the family picture is an event itself. The poses, the commentary, and the joking are all parts of the equation for a perfect family picture.
