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26 Signs You've Been Single For Way, Way, Way Too Long

♫ Soaring, tumbling, third-wheeling ♫

1. Your Google search history paints a tragic picture.

2. You are physically incapable of sharing a bed with anyone.

Apatow Productions / Via elitedaily.com

3. Ditto for all food.

4. This is your greatest source of confusion:

5. And you've gotten a bit crappy at keeping in touch.

6. Your well-meaning friends often ask if you're swinging the other* way now.

Universal Pictures / Via elitedaily.com

*Opposite of whatever direction you were swinging in to begin with.

7. And it's crossed your own mind a few times, too.

Paramount / Via playbuzz.com

8. You're tempted to enter a relationship just so people will stop saying this god awful phrase to you:

E! / Via collegetimes.com

"Tbh my fist is ready to mingle with your face."

9. You share an emotional connection with at least one pillow.

10. Everyone you know constantly has "the perfect person" they want to set you up with.

Universal Pictures / Via movies-quotes.tumblr.com

11. Spoiler alert: They're ALL wrong!

NBC / Via myspace.com

12. On the plus side, you're now a veritable expert at first dates.

what’s your favorite position to watch netflix in

First Date Questions@firstdateqsFollow

what’s your favorite position to watch netflix in

1:44 AM - 15 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

how many days do you wear the same pants in a row before it becomes, like, a problem?

First Date Questions@firstdateqsFollow

how many days do you wear the same pants in a row before it becomes, like, a problem?

9:37 PM - 18 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

13. And, although you've been on a lot of awful ones, you know that the worst date of all is February 14th.

14. You've gotten this harsh surprise way too many times:

15. You've internalized a general dread around holidays.

Nickelodeon / Via rusherwerehere.blogspot.in

"How about Mistle-NO!"

16. And you've developed a genuine allergy to PDA.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / Via tumblr.com

17. You want to share your wisdom with young lovers and are often accused of killing their vibe.

Warner Bros. Television / Via ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com

"Ugh, guys, nothing lasts forever anyway."

18. Your online dating escapades have taught you that most humans are freaks.

19. Your friends are used to your insistence that you'll die alone, and no longer try to refute you.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / Via bitchydust.blogspot.in

20. You've become very fashion forward.

21. You're used to hearing about awful people in happy relationships and wondering WTF is wrong with you.

Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and #CharlesManson isn’t.

Wanted@thelovealiveFollow

Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and #CharlesManson isn’t.

1:54 PM - 20 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

I'm single and Charles Manson isn't.

So world famous serial killer Charles Manson got married today and here I am, ridin' shotgun on the single bus. 😒

Blake Epperson@BlakeEppersonFollow

So world famous serial killer Charles Manson got married today and here I am, ridin' shotgun on the single bus.

11:47 AM - 19 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

It's always reassuring to know Charles Manson is engaged and I'm still single :/

Trisha Paytas@trishapaytasFollow

It's always reassuring to know Charles Manson is engaged and I'm still single :/

8:38 PM - 18 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Single? Charles Manson found someone. Charles Manson is more dateable than you.

TechnicallyRon@TechnicallyRonFollow

Single? Charles Manson found someone. Charles Manson is more dateable than you.

8:01 PM - 18 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Charles Manson found love and yet you're still single.

Damien Fahey@DamienFaheyFollow

Charles Manson found love and yet you're still single.

8:25 AM - 18 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

22. You're even more used to being a perpetual third wheel around your cutesy couple friends.

23. Sometimes (when it's been too long IYKWIM), things start getting a little desperate.

24. Forcing you to look deep into your past for an explanation.

25. But, hey, the only real explanation is that you know you're amazing and you won't settle for less than perfect.

26. Or, you know, that's what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night.

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