44 Thoughts You Have When You Go Threading
I know I asked for this and she's just doing her job but I HATE HER SO MUCH.
1. Gotta sneeze, gotta sneeze, gotta sneeze.
2 . Oh, fuck, ow, ow, ow
3. I've done this about a thousand times.
4. Why does it still hurt?
5. Wait, which hand goes where?
6. I should know this by now.
7. Who’s a grown-ass woman? I’m a grown-ass woman.
8. OW. Ow. Ow.
9. Is she taking off my entire eyebrow?
10. How would I even know?
11. ABEY! SLOW DOWN.
12. I hate this woman.
13. Screw you, parlour lady.
14. Why is she doing this to me?
15. OK, I know I asked her to.
16. Should I be angry at her?
17. Should I be angry at me?
18. Should I be angry at the patriarchy?
19. OW FUCK SHIT SHIT OUCH. I HATE YOU.
20. Ahhhh, yaaas. Nice and cold.
21. I love you, scissors. You’re my favourite part.
22. That wasn’t bad at all. I’m a boss.
*Starts threading the upperlip*
23. HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD.
24. Also, um, her boobs are on my forehead.
25. They’re literally just there.
27. OW OW OW.
28. FUCK FUCK. OW.
29. Maybe if I inch slowly away from her, she'll leave me alone.
30. Damn you, woman.
31. Hey, her hands smell like biryani.
32. No, rajma?
33. I wonder what she had for lunch.
34. Wait, what did I have for lunch?
35. Did I have lunch?
37. Wait, it’s over? It’s really over?
38. Yup, gorgeous, gorgeous, perfect, flawless, wow
39. I'll just go home and tweeze whatever's left.
40. Thank god I’m done.
41. I mean, done for two weeks. Or like, one week. A week and a half. Depends.
42. Man, I look. so good, I could be a model
43. I should be a model
*Notices red patches on upper lip and near eyebrows*
44. Ok, in like 10 minutes.