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22 Problems Only Altos Will Understand

No one gives a fach about you.

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1. You can't focus when you actually get a chance to sing the melody because your mind is totally blown.

Municipal House / parmandil.tumblr.com

And you automatically sing the lower harmony by accident.

2. Composers literally don't give a fuck about you.

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A tenth jump? Sure, no problem. JK, WRITE BETTER.

3. Your part is either the same note over and over again...

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Can a girl get a re up in here?

4. ... Or ridiculously, unnecessarily complex.

Royal Opera House / parmandil.tumblr.com

Honestly, you deserve a medal for navigating that harmony.

5. Sometimes, you're nothing more than glorified accompaniment.

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By "alto 1" and "alto 2" I think you mean "piano part."

6. Sometimes your part is so low it's not even worth it for the composer to use the treble clef.

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This will help you get into a man's mindset for your eventual slew of pants roles.

7. When you finally get a chance to show off your sweet low notes, they hit with a quadruple piano.

Low notes are not fun with this dynamic. #altoproblems

Your mouth is open, but no sound is coming out.

8. The one song that totally captures your pain HAS to have a high C.

View this video on YouTube

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Just transpose it down a step so you only have to sing a Bb.

9. People constantly attempt to crush your ego by telling you your part's not important.

This piece would be NOTHING without the inner voices.

10. You waste a lot of time praying for Disney to add a little vocal diversity.

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Of course, all the evil characters have low voices.

11. But you still blow your vocal cords out trying to hit the high notes in "Let It Go."

Disney / youtube.com

Take a little solace in the fact that even Idina can't hit 'em sometimes.

12. People expect you to be able to sight read well in alto clef "because you're an alto."

Sight singing assignments in alto clef seem unnecessarily mean.

Honestly, this clef shouldn't even exist.

13. You no longer have eardrums after the alto next to you tries to warm up with the sopranos.

Royal Opera House / youtube.com

Just drop out.

14. You hate yourself for sometimes wishing you were a legit soprano.

Wishing I was a soprano right now #altoproblems

Don't fall for it! Have some mezzo pride!

15. You have to tailor your headshots for the only three roles you can get: witches, bitches, and britches.

At least you're simultaneously hot enough to be a witch and adorable enough to be a little boy.

16. And on the off chance you do get to play a love interest, you're definitely not going to get the guy.

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You sound really pretty when you die, though.

17. ... So you pretty much have to be your own MCM.

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You can wear the shit out of a suit and top hat.

18. You run out of breath trying to project over the two sopranos who are covering your entire section.

Warner Bros. Cartoons

How is that even possible?!

19. You spend way too much time scouring the library for the middle and low key versions of books.

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And then you're out $30 when you have to buy it yourself because they don't even have it.

20. You have seriously limited song choices compared to everyone else.

PSA to composers: please fix this shit.
The Aria Database / aria-database.com

PSA to composers: please fix this shit.

21. You go a little cross-eyed when your part goes below the tenors or above the sopranos.

Voice-crossing with other sections be like

Pretty much the musical equivalent of a traffic jam.

22. You have to control your rage when the director doesn't warm up your lower range.

Metropolitan Opera / youtube.com

Yes, we know how well the sopranos can squeak out those high D's. Now can we get some stuff going below the staff?

But at the end of the day, you know you're the superior voice part.

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