22 Problems Only Altos Will Understand

No one gives a fach about you.

Posted on

2. Composers literally don't give a fuck about you.

instagram.com

A tenth jump? Sure, no problem. JK, WRITE BETTER.

3. Your part is either the same note over and over again...

instagram.com

Can a girl get a re up in here?

5. Sometimes, you're nothing more than glorified accompaniment.

instagram.com

By "alto 1" and "alto 2" I think you mean "piano part."

6. Sometimes your part is so low it's not even worth it for the composer to use the treble clef.

instagram.com

This will help you get into a man's mindset for your eventual slew of pants roles.

7. When you finally get a chance to show off your sweet low notes, they hit with a quadruple piano.

Low notes are not fun with this dynamic. #altoproblems

Your mouth is open, but no sound is coming out.

8. The one song that totally captures your pain HAS to have a high C.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

Just transpose it down a step so you only have to sing a Bb.

9. People constantly attempt to crush your ego by telling you your part's not important.

This piece would be NOTHING without the inner voices.

10. You waste a lot of time praying for Disney to add a little vocal diversity.

instagram.com

Of course, all the evil characters have low voices.

12. People expect you to be able to sight read well in alto clef "because you're an alto."

Sight singing assignments in alto clef seem unnecessarily mean.

Honestly, this clef shouldn't even exist.

14. You hate yourself for sometimes wishing you were a legit soprano.

Wishing I was a soprano right now #altoproblems

Don't fall for it! Have some mezzo pride!

16. And on the off chance you do get to play a love interest, you're definitely not going to get the guy.

instagram.com

You sound really pretty when you die, though.

17. ... So you pretty much have to be your own MCM.

instagram.com

You can wear the shit out of a suit and top hat.

19. You spend way too much time scouring the library for the middle and low key versions of books.

instagram.com

And then you're out $30 when you have to buy it yourself because they don't even have it.

21. You go a little cross-eyed when your part goes below the tenors or above the sopranos.

Voice-crossing with other sections be like

Pretty much the musical equivalent of a traffic jam.

22. You have to control your rage when the director doesn't warm up your lower range.

Metropolitan Opera / youtube.com

Yes, we know how well the sopranos can squeak out those high D's. Now can we get some stuff going below the staff?