Listen, we need to talk about how onions are a revolting excuse for a vegetable.
Onions do not deserve to walk this earth.
They've destroyed burgers with their cold, pungent little selves.
They overwhelm peanut butter sandwiches with their stomach-turning taste.
They can't cut it as a side dish.
They ruin the sanctity of chips.
Onion soup? More like onion POOP.
And nothing in this world can mask the gross aroma of onions, not even chocolate.
Even deep-frying them does nothing to reduce their vomitrocious qualities.
Onions don't belong anywhere near our precious Kool-Aid.
And they certainly don't deserve to be JUICE.
They also LITERALLY make you cry. What other food reduces you to tears?!?!
Think toilets are disgusting? Well, there's only one way to make them even grosser, and that's by adding onions.
Why? Because FUCK ONIONS.
The world will be a better, more tasteful place if we all follow this commandment:
